👀 looks like it's finished...

Thank God 😫🤌😂!!

Officially taken this thread to a 101, I deserve an award for this o. 🤣🤣🤣Not only do I deserve it, but Two cents deserves it as well. Y’all are doing a great job with this platform as i always scream to high heavens.

A pity you didn’t do a better job with your arguments.

Last word had.

#micdrop. 🎤

As for having the last word, you and I know nothing would give you a better hard-on if you had it, but you’re more concerned about the optics of “letting” a woman win because with your gender it’s always about control. Letting someone do something. 🤣

As for your work being done, my dear you put in no work and yielded no positive outcome either. Failed to convince me, and failed to successfully assert control over the narrative. 🤣

Lmao your passive aggressive permission to “clap back” is classic behavior from “I will not mention where.” 🤭🤣🤣🤣

I haven’t needed your permission to do anything throughout this entire discourse so I don’t need it now. Because I refuse to flatten humans into the “women are so complex oh, my gosh” rhetoric spouted by men who simply refuse to listen, doesn’t mean you should get your knickers in a twist na?🤣

Because even in our difference, we still very similar to you. Most of our behaviors as different genders are shaped by society.

Why do you not play with dolls? Because society considers it effeminate.

These are the determining factors in most of how we behave/interact with our world. Those things you think are inherently male/female are not as inherent as you think they are.

Why I’m arguing this passionately on this topic is cos while ur argument has an undertone of reverence and admiration, it is still dressed up as dogma that paints us as super complex.

When men rape us, beat us or cheat on us, these men see us as subhuman. Like a different species of the human race. It’s why men would say things like it’s easier for them to cheat cos most sex is just sex to them – but it’s deeper for us, as if women are incapable of indulging in casual sex.

Don’t womansplain us.

I don't mean this as patronizing, or insulting....But. Lol. yeah.

You are exhibiting...cognitive dissonance. 

Not an insult though. So no need to clap back, I'll let you have the last word on this thread...because In many ways, I think that's just lowkey what you want. Lol.

Feel free to respond to this comment as many times as you want and take the entire thread to 100.

You deserve it. Lol

Cheers. My work here is done.

Is there more nuance to how we process emotions and our thoughts? Yes, that is in where we differ as different genders.

Does this make us some very complex beings whose thoughts can never be streamlined or linear? Nope. That’s where individuality come into play. Some women are less mature or more quirky etc. Understand this and know peace.

"Your main argument: Women are wired so differently from men

. Mine: Yes we are, but we’re not as complex or as different. We still have many similarities cos don’t forget we both have X and Y chromosomes."

You said "Yes we are", to "Women are wired so differently from men":

You then said "But we’re not as complex or as different"

Doesn't "wired so differently" mean "as different". You are agreeing and disagreeing though.

If I'm wired so different doesn't that mean I am very different or as different? No?

It is because you were more concerned with being right, than actually seeing my perspective, you didn’t realize there was no need for this conversation to continue as long as it did (loved it though).

I agreed with our complexity as women.

I disagree that we’re more complex than men.

I have searched high and low, no scientists have any collated evidence to prove that we are more complex than men, Cyrus.

Until you can show me this data. I will not still agree with you. C’est fini.

The research only backed what I already knew and stated from last night. It’s because I prefer to work with facts, I went to investigate. I always agreed with one part of what you were saying, go back and re-read my comments and you’ld see.

Let me try and simplify it for you. 🤭

Your main argument: Women are wired so differently from men

. Mine: Yes we are, but we’re not as complex or as different. We still have many similarities cos don’t forget we both have X and Y chromosomes.

More "difference" than "complexity", because we are innately...well, different and all that. But yeah

Well, I'm glad I at least got you to see "part", the 90% 10% part is subjective and will be different for each person.

You said here..

"...So overnight before I slept off, I did a bit of a research on this topic and I still saw that you are not entirely correct just as I thought. Saying we’re illogical is not offensive in itself, that’s not my point.....

.....What I dug up by my research last night was that yes, some studies suggest that women might process emotions and social situations in a more connected way, influenced by how our brains are wired, hormones, evolution, culture etc…"

That's really it, you helped me by stating that, so...thanks? I guess. Lol

That's really what I was saying, if I exaggerated it, could maybe be down to how you interpreted it, but regardless it's fine.

You said I wasn't entirely correct, but I wasn't wrong.

Plus, I feel like the "entirely" is down to how I said some things versus how you understood them etc.

And on a final note. In one of your earlier comments you said your points could be seen as illogical and hard to understand. Yet you wanted ME to understand something even you considered illogical by your own admission. 🤣🤭

Cyrus pls, it’s okay to enter kitchen and use frying pan to fry spicy chicken and noodles for your woman. And no, we won’t see you finish, as a FOURTH woman told you ONCE AGAIN in the comments.

Ngl this was fun sha. 🤭

I told you I’m not “most people”

And I don’t care much for either Kendrick or Drake tbh. Though I prefer Kendrick sha. lol. Referenced their back and forth cos it was epic and drake pussied out. (Excuse my French)

To cut the long story short, yeah this was fun. 🤣🤭 Still don’t agree with 90 percent of the sum of all you’ve said.

Only part I agree with is that yes, women are complex, & we can be a tad dramatic (for many justifiable reasons) but there’s too much exaggeration of our complexity. 🤷‍♀️

Well, Kendrick over Drake, so...yeah. I'm team "Not Like Us". But yeah. Lol.

Drake is too......for my liking. Looool. left that out so you don't rope me into another thing.  

But yeah, offer still stands though. Never too late to get clarity. Lol. 

I get that, I didn't think anything of it till you pointed it out, just felt like part of the whole thing.

But all in all, I'm happy you stayed, most people would have run. Lol.

So don’t be like drake who went to court after Kendrick pulled a “finish him” move on him.

Now it’s you who needs to be calm. 🤣😩

You gat this, you hear?

By your tone you were indirectly giving it back to me hot hot. Even though you claim you didn’t realize it. 🤣🤣🤣 With some other men, I would doubt it but I believe you didn’t know.

I can handle whatever you throw at me, don’t worry. You’re right in that assertion. I’m just poking at the patronizing tactic which some ppl employ, me inclusive. You can’t get me there with that tactic, is the point I’m trying to make. 

Well, it won't have been fun otherwise, Lol. No?

But yeah.

Lmao apologizing to me while much appreciated because this shows self awareness which i love, as well as accountability. You didn’t need to cos you didn’t outrightly insult me, (when you use words like you’re mad, you’re stupid etc that’s when I get offended)

This is healthy banter. Even the tone we’re both using is part of it. I’m attacking your own in a way, to cripple your argument and shake you small and you fell for it. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Again, I think that was just semantics, I was just making a subtle distinction based on how this all started weeks ago, but yeah, we like to go at it., and that's fine.

And this is also to let folks on TwoCents know that it is fine to go at each other, Lol. Not every interaction has to be all "kumbaya" and "this was sooo nice"...

And to all other readers, I have nothing against women, Lol. I was just trying to make a point and all.

And, Belinda and I are cool,. Lol. Don't read too much into this, I did this with her because I know she can take it. She's built different. Lol

So yeah.

I see. Well, I apologize then, I didn't realize it came across that way. Not my intention.

It's just "part of the fun" as you said.

No yawa. Lol. Apologies for the patronizing tone.

And also insisting I’m the one who loves to argue is also patronizing. Lmao it’s the height of double standard, or pot calling kettle black. Cyrus, a debate is an argument. You have spent over five hours “arguing” with me. So you LOVE to argue, sir. You don’t love to argue ke? How na? 🤣🤣🤣

I would never patronize you. Never. That was just banter and I felt you could take it. That's really it. I don't do all that stuff, you know, like hurl ad-hominems when the premise is failing. That's rookie stuff.

Again, I wasn't trying to patronize you, I apologize if it came across that way. No harm intended.

You are one person I can do this with, with no inhibitions, and I think you know that. Most people can't, and that's that.

So no harm intended, yeah.

Good. When you say things like “calm down” when you can’t see me, it’s patronizing. When you also say things like “when you get it” etc.

That’s what I’m referencing. You’re a sweetheart from all our interactions, but even my female friends I shared our back and forth with, noticed that patronizing tone. You can ask more women, or even AI. 🤣🤣🤣

I don’t take offence, I want you to be rest assured cos this is just banter to me. And we usually come with everything we can throw at the next person

This thread aside, I'm surprised you'd say that or believe that ... I mean given the nature of all our past interactions, I don't think I ever came acorss that way. Or that I come across to anyone that way. But I'm also not one to "stew in my own soup" and not step out and see things from other perspectives.

I am surprised though, debate or banter aside.

I'm probably one of the most flexible people you'd meet, and I've literally not argued with anyone in years...you are the one who said you love to argue with everyone and do it for fun.

That's not me at all. But yeah.

I need to know what your calmness gauge is. Pls enlighten me. What part of my arguments are exposing a lack of calmness? Or is it all in your mind just the same way the image of a deeper more complex wiring of women, is also all in your mind?

Maybe this isn’t even a gender thing but rather a “you” thing. It’s just that too many men do this: label women’s arguments as emotional or excitable (I’m honestly surprised you haven’t dropped the “E” word yet 🤣).

If you really knew me, you’d know this is me at my calmest. But I get it. When all else fails, the patronizing route is the easiest one to take. No surprises there.

Once again, as I’ve said before, your intensity has matched mine. In fact, someone who seems to know you described you as quite the arguist: apparently, once your mind is made up, you rarely shift position. That checks out, given our back-and-forths. Yet you still insist I’m the one “jumping in” and getting “excited.” 🤣🤣🤣 Woman don suffer.

Maybe, or maybe you failed to calm down and understand. If you can't admit here, hit me up on WhatsApp. Lol.

It's calm.

Trying to make this into a debate when it’s not a formal setting, we don’t have a structured audience and or set of rules, is just as funny. Arguments get a bad rap, but a debate is still an argument only with rules and more structure.

Why are you looking for a debate when this is a debate as good as any?

Anyways, you debated, you failed to hit the mark. Don’t cry. (Which I assume you are doing cos the image is fun to envisage, just like you assumed I wasn’t calm)

Hope you get this one? 🤣

Lol. *exhales*

What can a man do? Loooool.

He can only try, yeah?

I'm still here, if "anything" changes.

There is nothing more to “get.”

Dress it up as deep all you want, I no still gree. 🤣 And mentioning I told you I love to argue was the funniest thing you’ve done thus far. Because it was a classic case of “pot meets kettle.

Naa this has been too much fun. I’m reeling. 🤣🤣🤣

Don't pay too much attention to the semantics of debate versus argument, the point was t say that don't jump in, all charging, super eager to just banter etc without understanding...that's the gist.

This is not about intellectual jousting dear, I see no point in doing that. None at all.

I want you to get me that's all....just try it, let's stop this back and forth and just say.."Oya let me hear you out, re-state your premise"'

It's really not that hard, Sigh.

Cyrus, you’re intelligent na, remember? An argument is simply a set of reasons or evidence given to support a conclusion. Which is exactly this.

This cannot really be a debate cos debates are more structured discussions where two or more more sides still need to present “arguments” more formally and debates come with set rules and usually have an audience and a moderator.

The way you’re constantly shooting yourself in the foot becauae you’re trying to sound more intellectually superior is funny.

"Women can be understood. Just try to be a better listener."

I never said they can't, and this is another red herring you are throwing about,....I didn't want to respond to this, but it's just a really baddddd point, Like, really bad. Too hard to ignore Loooool.

I listen really well, I know this about myself, plus people etc but it's not even about that

You are STILL showing that you never understood the premise! And really, you can't blame me for that

I tried, and I'm still trying...but yeah. Lol.

Sigh, I tried for you. I really did

I know you'll come back to this thread ad reread it, and when you do, feel free to let me knw that you FINALLY get it, its calm

There's only so much I can do, if you wont or can't understand, that's on you. Lol

I feel like you would still get it though, I really do. So fingers crossed

Thread is still open. Lol.

Cyrus, you’re not the debate juggernaut you think you are.

If you were an expert at this, in one comment or three max, you would get me to completely understand your points. You have failed at this. Woefully, I might add.

And dressing this failure up as a lack of understanding on my part, doesn’t do anything to hide it for you. 🤣 There is no deep, broader meaning here. That is pseudo intellectual “whatyoumightcallit”.

Women can be understood. Just try to be a better listener.

Understood?

You KNOW I am not being patronizing, all that is banter I know you can take ....I won't do this with anyone else because they would have taken offense. But I know you can take it, and YES! This is what TwoCents is for....Lol. So no worries.

I am not the enemy Belinda, Lol. I can help you understand the premise and then we can debate in proper style.

If you don't agree to that, we would keep going in circles. Sigh

..because this is literally a virtual conversation. You cannot accurately gauge calmness from words. Especially when your intensity and response time is the same as mine. Can you see how telling me to be calm is patronizing when you’re sounding no different from me?  🤭🤣🤣

My words were ''You can't win this argument". Because you veered off track from the start"

You said you love to argue, and that's a very different thing? No?

I then pointed you to how this should be more of a debate, no? that argument is rookie stuff, and that we should debate this, no?

I still stand on this

I'm willing to help you understand the premise, so we can have a healthy debate. I'm just bummed that it took this long. Sigh. Lol

Oh well.

Oh and I wonder where you learned to interpret a response matching the same intensity as yours as “not calm”. This sounds once again like social conditioning. Where when women argue she’s told to be lady like and calm.

I digress, but I see where your mentality stems from and it is not at all any different from what I would expect. A little disappointing though, but not unexpected. 🤣

So contrary to what you perceived from a virtual discuss from someone whose real emotions you’re not privy to…

Lmao still being patronizing. Now I’m convinced you think this is the best way to win an argument. To try to humble the other person by painting your own perspective as the “teaching one” and the person going back and forth with you as the student refusing to learn.

I do recall you also telling I couldn’t win you in an argument as you also love to argue. 🤣🤣🤣Not you indirectly exposing yourself by exposing me. Cyrus, please! 🤣🤣🤣

O my Gwoosh!!🤦This is the most interesting and longest banter I've ever seen on Twocents.🤤

Untop who go cook for kitchen.🤌..na wa o😂😫

Well I enjoyed it though.

Sir Cyrus is a really hard one to convince once he already takes his stand but Director Bel no wan gree😂🔥

Or maybe you are bad at understanding? Lol. You literally told me that you like arguing, so…could that be the problem? 

I’m just saying. Your words not mine. 

But again, I'm still here...

All you need to say is "Okay Cyrus, I am calm and willing to understand you now"

If you say the words, I'll proceed. Lol. 

Why do I need to specifically say “Cyrus make me understand?” Haven’t all your points been you trying to do just that? That you failed at it isn’t because I didn’t specifically ask for a broader meaning, it’s because your broader meaning has no bearing in facts. Simple. Your broader meaning is you spewing words with not much bearing in actual facts.

I don’t want to deviate too much so I’ll ignore a few other things, and carry on with my argument which still stands. Once again, last i checked the whole idea of two cents is to engage, whether or not you’re the initiator of a topic, that’s why when I saw your comment, it piqued my interest so i focused on solely it.

if you are unable in two different posts to make me understand half of what you’re saying, once again, you suck at making ppl understand stuff. 🤣🤭

You are more focused on asserting control over the narrative than addressing your points directly sir, that’s why I have in your mind “failed to understand” you. And whether or not your intention is to be patronizing, you are patronizing lol as intention doesn’t cancel action. And yes, because I have spoken to you outside of here, I know you mean no harm, but you can tone it down nonetheless.

I wasn't trying to be patronizing. It was just banter, and you've spoken to me so you know it was harmless.

Also, saying that that's typical male behaviour funny is as you have exhibited some typical female behaviour, but I don't want to get into another pointless, circular argument with you, so I'll leave that alone

And, if I say that what you chose to tackle was not the point and was just a random example of something that could be a manifestation of something more "innate" and fundamental" …shouldn't you say "Okay, I didn't know that, so tell me what's the crux of what you said"...

Like, I have spent a lot of time since then trying (to no avail) to make you understand that we need to focus on the crux of things, but you refused. We are way passed that first Chidnma's thread, and I know I have tried .

You came to my thread, so isn't it incumbent on you to make an effort to understand before jumping in. You did jump in, even though I didn't take it too seriously then, but now that we are at this point, I had to take you back there.

You came to my thread, so you should have made all the effort to understand before the entire rant.

If it were me, that came to your thread, do you know what I would have said..

"Ohh I see, why did you say this, I'd like to understand your thought process better"

Calm, simple, open to understanding...then if you understand and still completely disagree, you'd be in a better position to refute and dismantle my claim.

But you chose another path, that had a shaky foundation (because you came charging in), and that's why your house of cards of an argument collapsed. It was of your doing.

Regardless, I am still willing to help you understand, - but only if you want to.

If you haven’t made me “understand” much by now, then perhaps you either suck at being convincing or there’s not much to be understood from all over 20 comments you’ve made thus far. What does that say about the way you argue? 🤣🤣🤣

lol the way you’re patronizing is typical human male behavior but let’s not digress. I am not rushing to comment as the wait time between our comments isn’t much.

You are just as quick with your responses as I am, but cos you want to weaken my argument, you attempt to be as patronizing as you possibly can, and all you’re doing is amusing me. Nice tactic. 🤭That being said, I do not want to continue this back and forth any more than you, as it takes two to literally have a conversation. 🤣🤣🤣

Sigh. My dearest Cyrus.

I zeroed in on the cooking comment because it stood out to me as questionable, and I’m still not convinced it holds up without evidence and ur point on prevalence doesn’t change that. I get you’re suggesting a broader context, but I chose to tackle that specific claim forgossake!!

Becauae I decide to counter that one claim and ignore a broader argument doesn’t make me wrong!

You pulled out the facts, and by yourself, you said that I was right, even though you conveniently framed it as "you were not totally right".

And that's on you, you misinterpreted what I said, from the jump, because you hurried into the first thread on Chidinma's, and you still seem to be hurrying. Lol

Slow down, forget all else, and ask me a simple question, and build up...can we do that? Can we? Lol. Yes?

Farabale, Lol.

You are rushing to comment and it's not allowing you to understand, I get that you want to reply and continue this back and forth, but it's doing you no good. Let's start from small, simple, basic questions, can we do that? yes?

I promise I'll help you understand. But you have to let me. Yeah?

"You are even sounding more like a woman with the way you’re leaning towards the more subjective."

This just proves that you don't know what subjectiveness is. Sigh.

This is NOT that difficult to get though! Loool. It can't be!

This isn't psychoanalysis. Lol.

And it's all in your head about me trying to mystify y'all, I never did that, I can see clearly now that the issue is your interpretation of things, because you keep dropping all these red herrings that are like totally unrelated and things I didn't say.

You can't understand if you don't "stop" and go back to the beginning. you already admitted that from the jump that you focused on the wrong thing, you came in all charging instead of asking what I was really getting it.

Your failure to calm down, and understand the broader point from the start, got us here Belinda. You can easily admit that. Lol..

Can you do that? Admit? can we do this? together? Lool.

It's really simple.

You are even sounding more like a woman with the way you’re leaning towards the more subjective.

 We women are more intuitive – so saying you’re sounding like a woman here is the highest praise I can give you; as we’re the more mentally/emotionally superior gender. 

Nonetheless, intuition isn’t what’s needed in this case, it’s hard facts. So, pls hit me with them, my WhatsApp is not averse to receiving more messages on this discourse. 😩

"Brains are wired'

"....hormones..."

That's literally it, you want me to use single word sentences now? Lool

I really don't think it's that hard to grasp though. But yeah

Intuition? Lool. you think I intuited that the male and female psyche are different? LOooooll. I don't think even you believe that. Lol

You did the research yourself,...

"my research last night was that yes, some studies suggest that women might process emotions and social situations in a more connected way, influenced by how our brains are wired, hormones, evolution, culture etc…''

You added that I wasn't totally right....okay, but I was right! And the "totally" stems from your interpretation rather than my articulation...because I was never ultra specific about the statistics of this prevalence... I don't know what else you want? Loool

But I'm here to help you understand, no giving up. Lool.

Lastly I appreciate the way you mystify us. Makes women sound like interesting, unique super heroes and I love that for us. But we’re not as complex as you exaggerate. Do we have more nuance in the way we do things? Can we be a little more dramatic courtesy of our hormones and periods? Gbamsolutely!

But you are psychoanalyzing us a little much is my point. The reach dey almost reach heaven. It is well o

…specificity, and the “my dear, get it” tone comes off as evasive rather than explanatory. Simply put, you are still leaning on intuition rather than substance. That is why I have asked you for data to back your claim over and over cos Cyrus you’re a researcher yourself and therefore know how important it is to fact check. Facts I’ll go with anyday as they are verifiable truths grounded in evidence while opinions are subjective and vary by individual and cannot always be relied on. 🤦🏿‍♀️

I won't give up on you, Lol.

I know you'll get it, becuase it's really quite simple. But your love for back-and-forth, more argument than debate is clouding things. Lol.

I'd let the clouds clear. Lol.

All your doing is acknowledging yet doubling down on the idea of “prevalence” and generalized truths, like women getting more decisive with age, but refusing to provide any concrete evidence or research to back your points, despite claiming you “know” what research would say. The repetition of points, along with the casual dismissal of needing to verify them, feels disjointed and unconvincing. You are harping on understanding through science and psychology which is broad but lacks..

"Not much else in that discourse was my concern, so I didn’t need to understand the broader picture as I wasn’t looking at it. 🤷‍♀️..."

Therein lies the entire problem. Sighhhh. You picked what you thought was the issue and went off on an argumentative spiral. Sigh. Loool. 

Well, well, Lol. Myron said it? So why am I surpised really? But I do know you'll see the light, Generalizations based on fact, are not that hard to understand. really. I know you'll come around to it,

At your own pace. Lol.

You honestly, have given this discussion too muchhhhh back-and-forth, it was never that hard to get. Sighhh

Oh well, Lol. What can I say, I did try, No?

Lmao you’re amazing. The way you frame my understanding as a journey you guided me through, rather than a mutual understanding is nothing short of patronizing. 🤣🤣🤣 There was no light bulb moment here, I was addressing what piqued my interest specifically with Chidimma’s post, which was your claim that women found men cooking for too long less attractive. Not much else in that discourse was my concern, so I didn’t need to understand the broader picture as I wasn’t looking at it. 🤷‍♀️

Sighhh, I tried.

I really did try. I really really did.

And to think that you were doing so well. Sighhhh, Lol.

I think maybe I'm saying a lot at once, so it may be hard to break down into digestible bits.

But I won't give up on you, let's do this...Lol.

Ask me questions, like actually make an effort to understand, yeah? Like don't make assertions, from the jump I think you were too quick to make assertions, without taking the time to understand, I mentioned this to you earlier.

So let's simplify things, sometimes that's all you need.

Ask me question, just one about what I said, a question to the point, and Try to not make any assertions yet, I know it's hard, but try.

Cyrus you’re repeatedly making the same mistake and doing a roundaboutism regurgitating the same talking points. You are in no position to mention the word “fact” at this juncture and keep insisting on it without referring me to said facts. While personal opinions can co-exist without being universally true, that’s exactly what yours is – a personal opinion. With not much verifiable truths in it.

If anything else isn't clear, kindly ask questions, so we don't do this painfully tedious barbling just to bring you to the point.

"....So no, women aren’t harder to understand by nature. It just takes genuine listening and effort.." Errhh, careful, Lol. You were doing so well with the last few comments, no need to spoil it now. Lol.

I didn't say it's rocket science, or it's even that hard, I SAD IT IS very different, complex, nuanced, a times counter-intuitive and even illogical, which stems from having a different psyche. Simple.

You were doing well, Lol. Let's keep that going, yeah?

Your last comment about our differences is "more to the point", Thank God. So whether rooted in biology or psychology, those differences are there, and while society has definitely played a role in cementing some things, those things were ALWAYS there, those differences are INNATE, IN-BUILT.

That's all, really.

But the sleep has done you good, you are wayyyyy closer to the point than last night, sometimes all we need is a good night's rest, and then the morning brings the light...I'm glad it did for you. Lol.

4. I don't need to pull up studies, you did it your self, and I was right....

" What every single study I dredged up on women’s psyche had to say was that yes we have more nuance as women in our interactions with ppl, but the margin or difference is not as wide as you make it sound…".

Those are your words. Plus, I was never specific about the margin of difference, I never said 20%, 1million, 2 in every 3 etc. So that's more about your interpretation than my articulation, and you would have seen that if you hadn't harped on about the irrelevant stuff that wasn't the base of my point.

3. What I was saying falls under the category of things you can understand through the science of our psyche, the root of who we are, and building up from there, sometimes even conducting experiments (the research you love talking about) and coming to GENERALIZED TRUTHS, so to speak. This does not mean that it'll apply to EVERY person, it's pointing to a majority, a PREVALENCE. yeah?

1. Women do get more decisive as y'all grow, yuup. I never disputed that. there's a science to that and it makes sense. I never said anything about this honestly. But yeah.

2. Your statement...

"The best way to understand people is by looking at them as individuals.." 

So, and your entire statement is a bit of a non sequitur, ...but mainly, you CANNOT understand certain things by looking at each individual, simply because, well, you can't look at each individual, it's literally impossible. So that doesn't really have any context here. WE are unique/dissimilar in certain aspects, but similar in some -My point all along, falls under the latter, my dear. Get it?

I didn't need to check and research even once to make those points, even though I could have, and I KNOW what the research says...it all seemed pretty easy to grasp if you were paying attention.

I really tried, Lol. I really really did. I'm happy you can see the light finally. Even your tone suggests that you finally "get it". Alhamdulilah.

Now, just to some extra stuff....

I am happy you can finally understand, I really am. Lol. And also, that you went all the way to check research, well I guess that's good in some way, but honestly, you didn't need to....if you had drilled down to understand the "base" of what I was saying, you would have realized early on that one doesn't need any research to understand it....but you chose to harp on about the not-so-important, incidental point/anecdote I made on Chidinma's post, and you kept on veering off on tangents that were taking you farther away from the issue,

Like I said "on the other platform" Lol, the first mistake you made was hopping on my thread and going on the offensive without boiling down what I said to its crux, it's bare essence, you know, FIRST PRINCIPLES.

You came with that "Twitter style" or "IG Style" attacking banter - I honestly feel like you should have asked more questions then and you would have seen exactly what I was saying, and then from the onset it would have been a smoother DEBATE (not argument) than what it ended up being.

Okay good, So now you are FINALLY on the right track, you are addressing the crux/root of my point. Now we can debate and discuss, rather than me trying to bring you back from your spiral/tangent. Wheeeww. At long last.

"....is not as wide as I made it sound" is neither here nor there", I could also say that that's because of how you "decided to understand it". Either way, that's subjective and too open to interpretation. But I WAS NOT WRONG.

So essentially I was correct. Plus I never said that it is ALL women dear Belinda, I was generalizing based on a ubiquitous truth about both sexes/genders. A GENERALIZATION based on FACT. Yeah?

So no, women aren’t harder to understand by nature. It just takes genuine listening and effort — the same as with anyone else. So in summary, we’re not a davinci code or complex puzzle you need to have the IQ level of a genius to decode as there is no scientific study available whatsoever to back this “women are harder to understand” claim. We process emotions differently, that’s all. Once as a man you sabi listen to women and understand our cues, you’ve hacked it. It’s not rocket science truly.

Our periods, hormones etc make us appear more mysterious and often dramatic and yes, men are usually a lot more simplistic in their decision making, but women are not that much harder to understand by men who listen. Women often communicate contextually (reading tone, subtext, body language), while men tend to be more direct or literal. So miscommunication happens easily.

…immediately unlocks the key to understanding women? It is because of social conditioning. Whether you want to hear this or not. Social conditioning is responsible for 90 percent of our behavior. Society encourages we as women to express emotions in more nuanced, layered ways, while men are often taught to suppress or simplify theirs. This very difference in how we express ourselves makes us look like aliens to eachother. That’s why they say men are from mars.

I need hard facts Cyrus. Share links to a college study to back your claim. I can personally share the ones I stumbled on via WhatsApp with you if you like. Even as inaccurate as AI can be, I have also gone through meta, chat gpt and grok and they are all agreeing with me. 🤣🤭😩 From Google to asking my older cousin who studied human psychology, they have all said that women are not as hard to understand as you ppl exaggerate. Why is it that once a man becomes a better listener, he…

The best way to understand people is by looking at them as individuals, not just as groups. We have individual quirks and ideologies. That’s why I told you when we were on the phone that women are not as complicated when we get older. With more emotional maturity and a better understanding of what we want as older, more self aware women, our desires become more streamlined. More linear. We begin to apply less mental gymnastics in decision making cos our priorities become clearer.

…which could make our reactions seem complicated or unexpected, especially in relationships where expectations can change over time. But it’s not a rule that this happens all the time— it’s not guaranteed that we must always react like this. What every single study I dredged up on women’s psyche had to say was that yes we have more nuance as women in our interactions with ppl, but the margin or difference is not as wide as you make it sound…

So overnight before I slept off, I did a bit of a research on this topic and I still saw that you are not entirely correct just as I thought. Saying we’re illogical is not offensive in itself, that’s not my point. My disagreement is that you’re not completely correct. What I dug up by my research last night was that yes, some studies suggest that women might process emotions and social situations in a more connected way, influenced by how our brains are wired, hormones, evolution, culture etc…

6. It is totally okay for y'all to be illogical when it comes to some things, for MOST women on our planet to be that way, it is NOT a bad thing. It is not a bad thing! You internalized and interpreted a very small example I gave on Chidinma's post about cooking, and you completely and conveniently missed the broader point.

Nothing I said was me projecting, or personalizing anything. I look at these things objectively. 

I really do hope you get it, this time.

5. However, this isn't even a bad thing, it is just the nature of women, and again, it is not a bad thing! If anything, it's a compliment that y'all have a complex, unpredictable, counter-intuitive way of processing and reacting to things.

....It put's men at a loss. Lol. Hence the popular statement "It's hard to understand women". You might dismiss it as a dumb trite statement, but it points to a fundamental truth.

Yeah? Got it?

3. The female psyche is (a little) complex, definitely more complex than a man's. In all our misdeeds and shortcomings, we are more straightforward...

4. What are some of these shortcomings...we want to cheat and not be cheated on, we want to be toxically controlling, we sometimes get violent, we want to earn more than our partners and most times we get uncomfortable if we don't, we sometimes exhibit toxic masculinity. All in all, we are more "linearly" flawed than you guys. Your psyche isn't as simple as ours, there's some convolution to it, and at the very least a lot of "contradiction" and "counter-intuitiveness. Got it? Cool. next...

Let's do some first principle thinking...kindly follow me. Lol.

1a. The male and female psyche are vastly different, downstream of this, you get to gender prevalence and even gender-specificity, meaning that because we are just built differently, biologically and psychologically, it makes our behaviour, reaction to things, how we process things etc, very different. Yeah? Cool Next...

1b. Many aspects of these differences have been influenced and cemented by society, culture etc...but they were always there in the first place.

2. Still on the point of DIFFERENCE, what attracts a woman is NOT what attracts a man. what turns off a woman is in most cases not what turns off a man (even though there is a lot of overlap here with things that just generally turn off both genders). Yeah? Cool. Next...

When Myron says that y'all don't understand generalizations and thinking from first principles, you will say this and that. Lol

You just proved Myron right. I'm even worried about mentioning his name because you'll say I'm spewing red pill talking points. Myron says a lot of BS, but he was right about that.

From the first thread on Chidinma's insight, I was pointing to a GENERALIZATION that you honestly don't need data to prove. But you keep harping on the cooking, kitchen stuff...Belinda, that was just INCIDENTAL, because Chidinma's post happened to be about cooking. Lol. Wheeewww.

I'm trying to get you to see the crux of what I was saying.

Okay let's do this, forget cooking, kitchen and all the examples and incidental stuff. Yeah?

....

There are studies to show that men perpetuate more violence. We see it in the news everyday. “Man stabs woman for rejecting his advances.” No be say women no dey kpai ppl but a bunch of nerds have come together, collated data, analyzed it, and have concluded the above. Whereas, there is no single evidence offline and online to back your claim that women would consider men who hang around in the kitchen a little too much “weak” and less attractive. 😩🥴

It is all in your mind. Jeez!

Using men perpetuating more violence is the worst possible example to make your case, as there IS PROVEN RESEARCH/EVIDENCE to back this up. Dismissing studies favoring kind/supportive men as ignoring “women’s psyche” feels like you’re moving the goalpost without evidence. You’re basing your argument on personal anecdotes and pop culture, which is fine for opinion, but claiming this is our innate wiring without any scientist backing it up means you’re telling us tales by moonlight.

Uncle Cyrus, while you’re not wrong to point out that humans (of any gender) can take kindness for granted, and there are real biological/psychological differences between sexes (eg aggression), your argument veers into ridiculous territory because it’s built on unsubstantiated generalizations that contradict available research!

There's so much more I can say, but I'd just wait for your response. Lol

*sips coffee*

...Not everything is societal conditioning Belinda, some things are inherent, innate, in-built.

Men and women are different. You can't keep using this "societal conditioning" as a rebuttal.... it has worn thin. Lol

What else can I say, you either get it or you don't.

It is not even a bad thing. It just comes down to a difference in how we are built.

Your response is giving "defensive", like I'm coming for women. Sigh

I really don't know how else to explain this.

Plus, I don't think one needs any qualifications to discuss this, this seems pretty easy to understand, or pick up....just like you don't need to be an expert to know that the male psyche is built in a way that we are more prone to things like violence, controlling behaviour etc..

Not....

...psyche, you guys process things differently. I don't know why you can't just accept this. It's really simple.

Lol. All you said, sort of tells me that you have drunk the woke Kool-Aid and are keen on blurring the lines between men and women.

I am not regurgitating red pill talking points, I have not internalized toxic masculinity or senseless societal norms.

I am saying that the female psyche, is such that a lot of the time, things y'all do...defy logic and "linear" intuition.

See....

..gender specfic.

Men and women are different, I have tried to explain this with and without nuance, Lol. But you are being obstinate or simply refusing to understand.

If I say "Men are more prone to violence then women" will you say that "Oh no, violence is a general human flaw"....While men and women can certainly commit violence, the reality of society is that men simply commit more violence...

Similarly, and in line with the broader point, the female psyche is different from the male...

Lol. No offense taken.

I understand how difficult what I said is to understand, it's just one of those things that "is what it is". It may sound illogical, like many manifestations of human nature.

Also, Lol, I don't know why you are ignoring the fact that certain things are gender prevalent, you always try to dismiss the base of the point, by saying stuff like "..it's not about men or women or a gender thing....it's a general human thing.."

Madame, certain things are gender prevalent or even...

In summary; a lot of these conclusions you men come to are from listening to other men tell you how women are and what women want. Which I’ve never understood. A living breathing woman in the post I referenced echoed my sentiments, another woman is doing the same thing here, that’s three women and I can find more who would agree with all three of us, yet you’re refusing to listen to us. 🤣😩 Who is in a better position to tell you men what we want and like, if not WOMEN THEMSELVES?! 🥴🤦🏿‍♀️

Again; people, in general, can take consistency and kindness for granted when they get too comfortable. It’s a human flaw, not a male or female one. The key isn’t to hold back goodness; it’s to give it to someone mature enough to value it. I also love how you acknowledge your points can come across as ridiculous, and quite frankly (and pls take no offence) they do. 😩🥴😭

Secondly, while you love women, as I do love men lol. We often lean too much into false assumptions and it is one of the things widening the divide between men and women more than ever. You are not a woman, and you’re not a human behavioralist or a psychiatrist/psychologist. Unless you’re academically qualified to speak on women's behaviors/inclinations, you’re “womansplaining”. Which by a lack of a uterus, you are not in a position to do.

*Sigh* Your “don’t overdo it or she’ll see you finish” logic is exactly the kind of thinking that makes men ‘robotic meatheads’ who have to keep up appearances at being “manly” instead of genuinely bonding and being themselves with their partners. Ppl who have a problem with you being good are simply damaged. A healed, well adjusted and emotionally aware woman won’t have a problem with you being “too good” when that’s literally what we’re all doing Gulder Ultimate Search for??! 😩

So really, it wasn’t so much about the kitchen, that was just the context because in the original post, Chidinma was talking about cooking..

…but my broader point was about the female psyche and how it defies logic (sometimes)

I’m not being sexist or misogynistic (I like woman, die..Looool) or playing into any societal stereotypes….

..I’m only stating a not so obvious fact.

I totally understand that this might seem ridiculous at first thought, but therein lies the complexity of the female psyche or female brain.

It might seem like “why on earth will being too nice or too helpful (in the kitchen or elsewhere) lead to see finish and erode her attraction for you with time…

Well, again, there in lies the contradiction that is the female psyche. There’s a lot of dissonance and counter-intuitiveness to how y’all get and lose attraction…

So yeah, that was my point