Am I naive or not just easily swayed? Part 6

Daniel shifted closer, close enough that I could feel the heat of him through the thin space the rain had trapped us in. At first it felt innocent—his arm brushing mine as he laughed softly, his knee knocking against mine as if by mistake. I thought I was imagining things. People seat close all the time. I mean I and Daniel are dating now and we've been this close before so it meant nothing.Then his hand lingered.Not bold. Not rushed. Just… deliberate.His fingers rested on my wrist, tracing small, absent-minded circles as if he was thinking deeply about something else. My breath almost ceased. I didn’t pull away, not because I wanted more, but because I didn’t know what this moment required of me. My body reacted before my mind could catch up—an unfamiliar warmth spreading through my chest. My stomach was tightening. I couldn't tell if I felt butterflies."Chichi," he said quietly, leaning in. His voice changed. Softer. Heavier. "You’re shaking.""I’m not," I lied, pretending I wasn't. I didn't want to be seen as inexperienced or new to these things but deep down, I was scared.The rain masked the silence between us. His hand slid higher, not boldly enough to call it an attack, not gently enough to call it nothing. My thoughts scattered. This was not how I imagined closeness. This was not how love was supposed to feel or was it?I pulled back gently. "Daniel… you know my stance. I told you. No sex before marriage. We are not supposed to be talking about this over and over. I can't do it no matter what. We can't be doing this."He sighed, a sound halfway between frustration and amusement. "Chichi, come on. We’re getting married anyway. What difference does it make?" He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. "Besides, nobody has to know. It’ll just be us." He didn't sound genuine at this point. I just looked into his eyes and I could see the lust and desire...My heart pounded. I tried to get myself out of the situation. I loved Daniel but then I couldn't bring myself to go against my principles."I...I am not ready," I said. "I don't understand what I'm feeling, Daniel, but I feel it isn't just right to do this please."Daniel's face changed.The warmth vanished, replaced by irritation he didn’t bother to hide. He pulled his hand away like it had suddenly burned him. "You’re so naive," he said. "Do you know that? All these pretending. You like the attention but want to act pure. I know your kind but I was very patient with you thinking I would be able to make a difference. I thought you were sensible. I mean I just came to realize you are very childish. How can we be in a relationship and I can't even touch you? Are we running a holiness program here? Or you want to tell me you are a saint?" Daniel scorned. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it was coming from my boyfriend! My chest tightened. "That’s not true."He stood up. "You’re not my kind of woman and yes women flock around me. I was just trying to love you and give you exposure, Chichi. But that's your problem. You don’t even know what you want. Girls like you always end up wasting their youths and they grow old. Then you see them in churches praying to God for help".The words hit harder than his touch ever could.Tears welled up before I could stop them. I looked at him—and saw not the guy who had filled a void, not the one who had listened when customers ignored me, but someone angry that I did not bend when he expected me to.The rain had stopped.I grabbed my bag, my hands trembling, and stood. “Don’t talk to me like that next time and I hate you Daniel, I hate you so much." I screamed with tears rolling down my cheeks. He stood up and tried to pull me close but I disengaged and left.My phone buzzed and it was my mum. The sky had cleared, but my chest felt heavy, crowded with questions I didn’t yet have names for. As I hurried home, tears streaking my face, only one thought kept repeating itself:Was I naive or was I not just easily swayed?

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