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Becoming Me, Finally
<p><br/></p><p>At times, I feel as if I'm always at the wrong place, even if I'm not — why?</p><p>Because that feeling of being lucky is not there, or being among. But is that all there is?</p><p><br/></p><p>A life without happiness, a society without peace, friends without trust, companions without love,</p><p>A house that feels less than a home each day,</p><p>A beautiful nation without unity or harmony?</p><p><br/></p><p>I always think I'm not good enough, but I never knew I was — even better.</p><p>And I will definitely upgrade to the best version of myself.</p><p>I always thought about people's opinions and what they thought about me,</p><p>But I never really focused on what I want, what I love.</p><p><br/></p><p>Because people didn’t like my singing, I quit.</p><p>Because people called me depressed, I just didn’t speak.</p><p>Because they saw me cry, they called me sad — then I stopped crying.</p><p><br/></p><p>I changed by their opinions and neglected my own.</p><p>If they told me to do something, I did it.</p><p>I felt like they knew how the world is supposed to be and I was wrong.</p><p><br/></p><p>I never knew that those “flaws” were so unique to the extent that it became my life.</p><p>My songs, my vulnerability, my joy, my everything, every single thing I tried to change made me lose me.</p><p><br/></p><p>And so, I made me a 2.0 version of myself.</p><p>Not the real me. Just a version I created of myself.</p><p>And it made my heart feel heavy every single day</p><p>Because I wasn’t doing what I loved,</p><p>I wasn’t doing what I wanted.</p><p><br/></p><p>And still, I was criticized. I was looked bitter. I was told that I wasn’t perfect — and yes, I’m not.</p><p>And that is what makes me unique.</p><p><br/></p><p>Looking back at my secondary school days, I realize that some things are just not worth your attention.</p><p>It’s just like you looking at a mirror and not seeing what you think is supposed to be there.</p><p><br/></p><p>Then, reflecting on the things you’ve done, you realize that you haven’t been completely true about the things you do or yourself.</p><p>You felt inferior. Why? Because you never knew your worth.</p><p><br/></p><p>I always waited for people to see that side that is always perfect.</p><p>But it was never real.</p><p>When they said I pretended, I had a breakthrough — and my whole thinking was reshaped.</p><p><br/></p><p>In what sense? You may ask.</p><p><br/></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">E</span><span style='background-color: transparent; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;'>mbraced my needs.</span><br/></p><p>I honored my voice.</p><p>I gave myself the love I was seeking from others.</p><p><br/></p><p>These are just a few changes — and I’m sure there will be more.</p><p>Because healing is a journey.</p><p>And growth is not a race.</p><p>And life… is too short to live anyone else’s story.</p><p><br/></p>
Becoming Me, Finally
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Favour Egbegi
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Favour Egbegi
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