Between my heart and my mouth - by Azeezat Adewole

I love youWords that I don't say enough to youI know you know that I doBut I want to be able to say it without needing a reason or a moment I want to give you everything and anything But why can't I express that to you? You deserve more than someone who shies away from affectionYou deserve better that someone who doesn't understand love You deserve someone who tells you your worth every day But I'm not good at that, and maybe that's what drew you to me But I can't shake this feeling that it'll be what breaks us apart All I know is how to doAnd people say actions speak louder than words, well not always Words have echoes Words have power They can anchor you to onto your feelings They can make you feel like a queen So maybe sometimes they're empty Maybe sometimes they're decieving But even I hear the sometimes in that sentence I really want to shout out and let the world know that you're mine But between my heart and my mouth, I fail to reach for words It's not that I don't care enough but words have never been my strength So when I get this feeling that maybe it isn't enough that you know that I love you That maybe it means everything to you for me to say that out loud So when one thing led to another And you said that you're not a mind reader It was off topic but I know what that meant I desperately want to give you the assurance that you want Publicly, privately But I don't know how toWhat if I tell you that I love you only everyday and the word loses meaning What if my words are not enough to show the depth of my feelings for youBecause I'm not good with words What if you see my desperation and clumsy zeal to express my feelings and see it as me forcing myself to say words I don't mean? Why won't you just let me show you?Do I really need to say it for it to matter?Maybe I do, maybe I don't But what's sure is that you want thisYou want to hear someone serenade you, romance you, with wordsMaybe it's because you've seen enough of actions, you've had enough of it and now all you want is words of affirmation Perhaps maybe what drew you to me was my stinginess with wordsI could tell it fascinated you Maybe you thought you could change that Now that it seems apparent that it's not a curable habit but just who I amI can't help but notice your quiet frustration But you deserve better So just tell me when you want to leave I'll drive you.

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