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Emman Nigeria
Student @ Babcock university
In Relationships 2 min read
Between Warmth and Withdrawal
<p>I learned early that the tenderness she gives could arrive without warning and disappear just as easily. One moment, she gives warmth so convincing it felt permanent. The next, an unexplainable coldness, as though the warmth was not there at all. I spent too much time trying to understand those shifts, wondering what I had missed, what mistake i had unknowingly committed.</p><p><br/></p><p>Communication, I was told, was complicated. But it didn’t feel complicated. It felt withheld. Things would have been far simpler if she was honest instead of giving confusing half-signals. Feelings do not need protection they need to be understood and spoken about. </p><p><br/></p><p>What frustrated me most was accountability. When things went wrong and they always do she never felt it was herfault. Reflection was replaced with deflection. I was not asking for flawlessness. I was asking for the willingness to look at one’s flaw and change.</p><p><br/></p><p>I began to realize how often emotional distance is mistaken for strength. How often detachment is praised as maturity. A strong relationship does not require the absence of feeling. A vulnerable one does not need to perform vulnerability. Real intimacy exists where two people are allowed to be imperfect, honest and comfortable showing up as they are.</p><p><br/></p><p>I know this is not everyone’s experience. But I believe things would change if she stopped hiding behind layers of emotion instead of owning them. If she spoke plainly about things instead of disappearing. If she took responsibility instead of excusing harm through  gender, as though that alone could absolve behavior.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>

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