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Score | 26
In Africa 6 min read
BEYOUND THE BLAME 🤍
<p><br/></p><p>A: You know what makes me angry. It is not that you mess up. It is that you never admit it.</p><p>B: That is not true. I admit things when I am wrong.</p><p>A: No you admit things when you are cornered. That is different.</p><p>B: Why are you always so aggressive with me. You talk like you are perfect.</p><p>A: I am not perfect. That is the point. I say my flaws out loud. You hide yours behind excuses.</p><p>B: You think you are brave because you say you are flawed. You still hurt people.</p><p>A: Yes I do. And when I do I own it. I apologize. I change my behavior. You deny it ever happened.</p><p>B: Because half the time you exaggerate.</p><p>A: I do not exaggerate when you interrupt me. I do not exaggerate when you gaslight me. I do not exaggerate when you shift the blame.</p><p>B: There you go again using words like that.</p><p>A: Because they are accurate words. You dismiss them because they make you uncomfortable.</p><p>B: You make everything sound like an attack.</p><p>A: No. You feel attacked because you refuse to look inward.</p><p>B: You do not know how hard my life has been.</p><p>A: I do. You tell me every time something goes wrong. You tell me your childhood. Your parents. Your trauma. Your stress.</p><p>B: Those things matter.</p><p>A: They explain you. They do not excuse you.</p><p>B: Easy for you to say. You were not there.</p><p>A: True. But I am here now. And I am the one dealing with the fallout of your behavior.</p><p>B: So now I am the villain.</p><p>A: No. You are a human who refuses accountability.</p><p>B: That hurts to hear.</p><p>A: Growth usually does.</p><p>B: You talk like you enjoy this.</p><p>A: I do not enjoy it. I am exhausted by it.</p><p>B: Then why stay.</p><p>A: Because I still believe you can do better.</p><p>B: You say that but you sound so angry.</p><p>A: I am angry. Anger does not cancel care.</p><p>B: When you look at me like that I feel small.</p><p>A: That is not my intention. I want you to feel responsible. Not ashamed.</p><p>B: I do feel ashamed.</p><p>A: Shame says I am bad. Responsibility says I did something bad and I can fix it.</p><p>B: I do not know how to fix myself.</p><p>A: Start by stopping the blame.</p><p>B: You make it sound simple.</p><p>A: Simple does not mean easy.</p><p>B: Every time something goes wrong my instinct is to defend myself.</p><p>A: I know. I see it every time.</p><p>B: It feels like survival.</p><p>A: It felt like survival once. Now it is a habit.</p><p>B: Habits keep people safe.</p><p>A: Habits can also poison relationships.</p><p>B: You think I am toxic.</p><p>A: I think you have toxic patterns.</p><p>B: That sounds nicer but it still hurts.</p><p>A: It should hurt just enough to wake you up. Not enough to break you.</p><p>B: I am scared that if I look too closely I will hate myself.</p><p>A: That fear keeps you stuck. Self awareness does not create self hatred. It creates self respect.</p><p>B: I do not respect myself much.</p><p>A: I know.</p><p>B: That was blunt.</p><p>A: Honesty usually is.</p><p>B: I thought confidence was pretending everything was fine.</p><p>A: Confidence is knowing what is wrong and choosing to work on it anyway.</p><p>B: When you say things like that I feel exposed.</p><p>A: You are exposed. To me. Not to the world.</p><p>B: Why does that feel scarier.</p><p>A: Because you cannot hide here.</p><p>B: I am tired of hiding.</p><p>A: Then stop.</p><p>B: I do not know who I am without defenses.</p><p>A: Someone learning. Someone imperfect. Someone real.</p><p>B: What if I fail.</p><p>A: You will.</p><p>B: That is not comforting.</p><p>A: You will also try again. That is the part that matters.</p><p>B: I hate that you are right.</p><p>A: I am not trying to win. I am trying to connect.</p><p>B: Your delivery needs work.</p><p>A: Fair. I am working on that too.</p><p>B: So you are not above this.</p><p>A: Never said I was.</p><p>B: Then why does it feel like you are judging me.</p><p>A: Because I am holding you to a standard I believe you can reach.</p><p>B: That feels like pressure.</p><p>A: Pressure and belief often look the same.</p><p>B: I wish you would say it softer.</p><p>A: I can try. But I need you to listen even when it is uncomfortable.</p><p>B: I am listening now.</p><p>A: Then hear this. I do not think you are broken. I think you are afraid of responsibility because no one taught you how to handle it safely.</p><p>B: That makes me want to cry.</p><p>A: Crying is allowed.</p><p>B: I was taught that admitting fault meant punishment.</p><p>A: That explains a lot.</p><p>B: So when you confront me my body reacts before my mind does.</p><p>A: Thank you for saying that. That is self awareness.</p><p>B: It does not feel strong.</p><p>A: It is strong. Strength is not loud. It is honest.</p><p>B: I want to be that kind of strong.</p><p>A: You already are starting.</p><p>B: By doing what.</p><p>A: By staying in this conversation instead of deflecting.</p><p>B: I almost walked away earlier.</p><p>A: I noticed.</p><p>B: I stayed because I do not want to be this person anymore.</p><p>A: That is maturity.</p><p>B: Even if I mess up again.</p><p>A: Especially then.</p><p>B: Will you call me out again.</p><p>A: Yes. With less fire if you meet me halfway.</p><p>B: I can try.</p><p>A: Trying is enough for now.</p><p>B: You really believe people can change.</p><p>A: I would not be here if I did not.</p><p>B: I feel lighter hearing that.</p><p>A: That is what accountability does when it is paired with compassion.</p><p>B: I thought accountability was just punishment.</p><p>A: No. It is ownership plus choice.</p><p>B: I choose to work on myself.</p><p>A: Say it again.</p><p>B: I choose to work on myself.</p><p>A: That sounded real.</p><p>B: It is scary but real.</p><p>A: Come here.</p><p>B: Are you still mad.</p><p>A: Less mad. More hopeful.</p><p>B: I like that version of you.</p><p>A: I like this version of you too</p><p>B: Even with my flaws.</p><p>A: Especially because you see them.</p><p>B: Thank you for not giving up on me.</p><p>A: Thank you for not running away.</p><p>B: Can we take this slow.</p><p>A: Yes. Growth is not a race.</p><p>B: Then stay with me while I learn.</p><p>A: I am here.</p><p>B: That means more than you know.</p><p>A: We will mess up. We will talk. We will repair.</p><p>B: That sounds healthy.</p><p>A: It is.</p><p>B: I want that.</p><p>A: Then we build it. Together.</p>

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