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50
Founder of Hadassah’s touch{wallpaper brand} @ Babcock University
But what is this?
<p>What is the meaning of this nonsense?</p><p>Why am I being put in this position where I have to question my worth, my existence—everything, basically?</p><p>Who put this kind of burden on me?</p><p>Who made me this way?</p><p><br/></p><p>Why is inner hatred growing for the things and people I once valued?</p><p>Or no—not them.</p><p>Who I am when I am with them.</p><p>Yes. I hate who I am with them.</p><p><br/></p><p>Please, this is not a cry for help.</p><p>That passed long ago.</p><p>But I have realized that I may never leave this position.</p><p><br/></p><p>Depression.</p><p>Loneliness.</p><p>Hatred.</p><p>This hunger for superficial things like money… and well, just money.</p><p><br/></p><p>I’m not blind; I am just seeing this life through,</p><p>while everyone takes me for granted—</p><p>my presence,</p><p>my love,</p><p>my care.</p><p><br/></p><p>But I stay, because I care.</p><p>And yes, I am aware they do not care.</p><p>It wouldn’t matter even if they did.</p><p><br/></p><p>It’s over, can’t you see?</p><p>It’s been over for a while.</p><p><br/></p><p>Because really—what is this?</p><p>Why am I being dragged into this state of despair,</p><p>where I’m screaming and trying to let go,</p><p>but it’s holding tight?</p><p><br/></p><p>Maybe this is what I deserve.</p><p><br/></p><p>I can’t explain it. I can’t.</p><p>I can only ask the person they use a white cloth to cover—</p><p>the person who lies on the ground, lifeless.</p><p><br/></p><p>I can only ask her:</p><p><br/></p><p>What is this?</p><p><br/></p>
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