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Student @ Redeemers University
Defined by My Standards, Not Your Expectations
<p>I recently celebrated my 23rd birthday, and instead of simply celebrating the milestone, everyone seems to be focused on one thing the fact that I don’t have a partner. It feels as though everyone around me has already decided what my ideal partner should look like, even though I’m still figuring that out for myself.</p><p><br/></p><p>People confidently describe the kind of man they believe would be perfect for me. Some say they know the kind of person who could “handle” me, someone who would supposedly take my excesses and somehow make me calm and docile. Hearing this makes it seem as though parts of my personality are problems that need to be corrected, or that I need someone to soften or control me.</p><p><br/></p><p>What is most interesting is that while everyone else seems so sure about what I need, I keep learning what I don’t need. I might not know exactly what I want in a partner yet, but I am very certain about the things I cannot accept.</p><p><br/></p><p>I don’t need a lazy partner. Any man who cannot cook or clean can simply return to his mother’s house. I definitely do not need a controlling man. I am a free spirit I go where the wind carries me, and I refuse to be caged by Adam’s descendant.</p><p><br/></p><p>I also do not need a man who is uninterested in the lives of his children or believes that raising them is solely my responsibility. Parenthood is not a one-person job. If you have children, Mr. Man, you should be going home to put them to sleep, not leaving the responsibility entirely to their mother.</p><p><br/></p><p>And I certainly don’t want a man who is too comfortable going everywhere without me. A partner should miss me, think twice before staying out too long, and gladly come back early simply because he wants to be with me.</p><p><br/></p><p>My father did not raise me to become a feather in a man’s hat. He raised me to wear my own hat. What I need is a man who will stand beside me and help me wear that hat properly not someone who tries to take it away.</p><p><br/></p><p>And if such a man finds his way to me before December, then perhaps everyone will get the wedding they keep talking about, and I will finally get what I actually want a true partnership called marriage. </p><p><br/></p>
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