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Fear Often Dresses Up As Love
<p>When two people get into a romantic relationship and really find each other appealing, they form a strong attachment. This attachment is engineered by the limbic system and your neurophysiology. Evolution wired us this way to enforce social pairing for survival, b/c too much individuality will compromise the survival of the species.</p><p>The problem is that people confuse this attachment with love. The fear of losing someone, the anxiety you won't find someone better, the jealousy, then emotional blackmail & gaslighting... all of these come from that attachment. The commitment here is not chosen freely, it is emotional compulsion, driven by fomo (fear of missing out).</p><p>If you want proof that this isn't love, look at how people behave when they realize they are losing exclusive access, or how exes treat each other. All the words and affection rapidly flies out of the window and the emotional trauma goes on for years. That’s not love, that's your limbic system running you.</p><p>Genuine love is different. It involves psychological safety. It does not survive on fear or anxiety. People self select themselves into it and nurture it consciously. Very few people have ever received or given genuine love. To be honest, giving genuine love is actually extremely hard.</p>
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