Chaos, Yet Beautiful : The First Chapter

I woke up bleeding from a dream,Ash in my lungs, torn at the seams.The walls screamed names I used to trust,Now memories decay to dust. A love note torn, beneath my boots,A past that howls, a tree with no roots.This heart’s a bomb, ticking slow,A masterpiece in undertow. Static prayers, whispered to the floor,No gods here—just a locked door.Sanity sold at bargain price,Pain wrapped neat in chains of ice. I laughed once, with a soul intact,Now I spit blood just to react.You said “forever,” your voice a lie—Then lit the match and watched me die. This world’s a sermon of decay,Concrete prophets preach dismay.I carved a message in my skin:“Don't let the bastards win.” The sun forgot to rise today,Skies wept black in disarray.I built a throne from shattered glass,Crowned in grief that couldn’t pass. And yet—I stood. Crippled, sore,With fists like thunder, rage and more.Every punch a hymn I sing,To broken bones and suffering. You called me lost, I called you blind,A martyr in a cage of time.But here I scream, still full of fight,In chaos born, I find my light. Cut my teeth on bitter dreams,Fed on lies and crooked schemes.Raised in backrooms, fists and fire,Fueled by rage and sick desire. You stitched your silence in my throat,Left me drowning with no boat.But silence breaks when hearts combust—Ashes scream, and scream they must. Don’t need your pity, don’t need your grace,I’ll drag my pain from this cursed place.Tattooed wounds, they spell out "real,"Each scar I own, each ache I feel. I kissed the void and held it close,It whispered truths that hurt the most.Told me love was just a cage,That freedom walks alone in rage. Yet still—I hope. Beneath the grime,A light persists, outlasts the time.Not soft, not warm—but raw and true,A flicker screaming back at you. I saw a flower grow through steel,A tiny tremor, something real.Not perfect, pure, or cleanly bloomed,But beautiful in all its ruin. I’m not your hero, not your saint,I’m the mess you tried to paint.But in the wreckage of this frame,I found a voice you couldn't tame. I wear despair like leather skin,But wear it loud—I let it in.There’s grace in madness, in the fall,In learning you were never small. Let the chaos crack the sky,Let angels fall and devils cry.Let every scream be raw and proud—I won’t be silenced, not now, not bowed. For every loss, I count a gain:Each bruise a badge, each tear a name.You tried to bury me in shame,But I rose screaming through the flame. This is for the kids who never slept,Who cried so loud, no secrets kept.For every soul left in the rain,Dancing through electric pain. Chaos isn’t failure—no,It’s proof you fought, it’s proof you grow.A symphony of scars and breath,A beauty born from loving death. So take your crowns and take your lies,Your hollow gods, your empty skies.I’ve got a song that splits the night,Built on chaos, raw with spite. Still here. Still hurt. Still whole somehow.No savior came. I made it out.And all your chains, they couldn’t hold—This fire’s mine, untamed, uncontrolled. Don’t ask me to be quiet now,My voice is forged in broken vows.I scream for all who’ve been erased,Who wear their sorrow on their face. I found rebellion in the dark,A melody in every mark.No longer hiding what I am—A beautiful, chaotic man. So here I stand, no shame, no fear,Every heartbeat loud and clear.Not healed, not fixed—but true, and full,Of something fierce, something beautiful.

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