Healing or Distracted? (I honestly can’t tell)

I woke up today and your song wasn’t playing anymore For the first time in a long time, I can think about it and not recoilThe rhythm that used to loop endlessly in my head, the one I couldn’t escape even when I tried, has finally gone quietMy feet have forgotten the moves. I can’t find the beat anymore. And I don’t know if that’s because I’ve actually moved on, or because my brain’s just found a different tune to obsess over. I’ve done this dance more times than I can count The hardest part is always accepting that I can’t keep the same partner foreverIt shouldn’t be so difficult to come to terms with, but it is at firstFor a long time, it feels like you’ll never enjoy another person’s tempo, even when you know logically that’s not true. But in the moment, all you want is to stay in that rhythm foreverYou don’t care how many times they step on your toes or bump into you or when you’re completely out of sync. The song is yours, and you’d rather dance it badly than not dance it at allUntil someone ends itArbitrarilyWithout warning And the tune keeps playing in your head even after they’re gone Lately, I’ve noticed something strangeThat part of my brain that used to replay the same melody over and over has shifted. It’s leaning toward something new nowA different rhythmSimilar in some ways, close enough that I recognize the pattern…but not quite the same. And I’m asking myself: have I actually let go, or am I just going through the same motions with a different song?I could easily call this a distractionOr not. Don’t you wish moving on was this clean break where you wake up one day and declare yourself free It’s not about never hearing that old song again or completely forgetting the steps you used to know. Maybe it’s just this, Waking up and realizing the music isn’t the first thing you hear anymoreNoticing that the ache has dulled into something manageableFinding yourself swaying to a new rhythm and not feeling guilty about it. I can’t audit my own feelings in real time. There’s no checklist that tells me“Congrats you’ve moved on” or“Sorry, you’re still just distracting yourself.” All I know is that the part of me that used to be consumed by one melody now hums a different tuneWhether that’s growth or just pattern recognition, I honestly can’t tell yet The same old feelings with a different beat, or something entirely new…I guess I’ll figure it out as I goFor now, I’m just grateful the song finally stopped playing on loop.

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