How JOJO and I stopped being friends

Jojo and I have been friends for as long as I can remember. Well, since forever. It started in my college days when we shared a room. Jolade “Jojo” complained that she didn’t need to share a room with anyone; she paid for a single room and wondered why she had to share it, especially with someone who wasn’t her friend. This entitled girl called her mother, crying, bitching about not having her way. She was an only child, and her parents granted her every wish. Jojo grew up with the mentality that the entire world revolved around her. She was like the Queen Bee. It was not easy sharing the room with a Diva like her, but I adjusted. You know that quote, “I thought you were a bitch when I first met you.” That’s the start of a great friendship. Jojo and I connected on Valentine’s Day. Before then, we barely spoke to each other. It was like sharing the room with a ghost- but a whiny, spoilt and bitchy ghost. On Valentine’s Day, she got a personalised romantic parcel from her boyfriend. I casually said that she was lucky to have a romantic partner. She scoffed in response and said,” Lucky with a cheating boyfriend?” Ordinary girls would have eaten the large velvet cake or kept the flowers or the wig that their cheating partner got for them. Jojo sent it all back to him. The boy was remorseful and swore never to return to the other woman. Jojo was stern and stood by her decision to never take a cheating man back. To explain her decision, Jojo poured her heart into me,” I know how cheating ruined my parents’ marriage, Hannah. I won’t be like my mother and stay with a cheating partner.” She was so blunt about it. We spoke about relationships that day. I told her about my on-and-off relationship with my partner; we laughed about the audacity of my past partners. From there, we started getting to know each other. Before we knew it, we started getting food together, watching movies, and sleeping in the same bed. We became best friends. Little did I know that Best Friends Forever didn’t mean anything. Adulthood didn’t prepare me for friendship breakups. Nothing happened between Jojo and me to break our bond. It was far away. She began her Master’s degree in Abuja. We tried to keep up by staying on top of each other’s lives and scheduling calls.It didn’t work out. We got tired of the “I’ll call you back,” “I’m so sorry,” and “Life is hard for me; I’m so stressed.” And we stopped. There was no argument or bad blood. We just stopped reaching out. Her 25th birthday came; the days of sending long, emotional birthday messages were over. I only sent, “Happy birthday, beautiful. May God bless you.” In response, I got a “Thanks. Take care of yourself, boo.” It was that simple. It hurt me when Jojo didn’t say anything else. She was back in Lagos for her birthday party. and expected an invitation. I mean, Jojo always does something for her birthday. What hurt the most was that she was engaged that night. With tears streaming down my face, I watched her boyfriend of six months, Raj, a Nigerian-Indian, ask her to marry him. I had never seen her so excited. I felt three things that night- happiness for Jojo because she deserved it; envy because I wanted to have friends who would throw me a surprise party; and finally, sadness because I had lost my best friend. The following day, I waited for a personal message from her confirming she was engaged. Nothing. It was over. We started getting closer to others, and the friendship slowly faded. Now, I hear Jojo is getting married in two weeks. Yes, I got an invitation, but not as the chief bridesmaid I thought I would be. I was part of the audience painfully. Some days, I ask myself what went wrong. Was it me? Was I boring compared to her Abuja friends, or was I not reaching out more? Days, I would cry and try harder, but it was clear. Our time had come to an end. All the plans we made as teenagers to always be there for each other…. It was real, but our promises failed. Luckily, I am a lover of photographs and videos; they serve me well. At least, I know I’ll always have the memories.

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