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44
Student @ Lagos State University
I only do things I’m already good at…. and it’s a problem, I know.
<p>I hate starting something I'm not already good at. I know that sounds counterintuitive. Maybe dumb. It probably is. It's the perfectionist in me, I think, that doesn't like to fail. She's always been the smart one, and the slightest mistake threatens that fragile image.</p><p>It's why I don't like subjects that don't come easily to me. Why I don't want to learn a new game or a new sport—for fear of looking stupid, of not being perfect. Why I never try to speak <em>Yoruba</em> for fear of being made fun of for my pronunciation.</p><p>I often wonder where it stems from. Usually, behaviors have a pattern. My earliest memory of scarring failure was a math competition (so mundane, right?). I put my all into it. Studied. Skipped meals. Worked on speed. Trained with no breaks. But I still failed. Not because I didn’t know the answers, but because I let fear choke me.</p><p>After that moment, I think I lost my fire. The drive to go after things dimmed, replaced by the fear of not being enough. Not being the best. So I stopped trying. This Two cents post is a quiet rebellion against that.</p><p>Last semester, I spoke at an essay competition with shaky hands and a trembling voice. I won third place. I was proud—not because I won, but because I showed up anyway. I tried, without needing to be perfect.</p><p>Maybe we can do that together. Break that perfectionist spirit inside us.</p><p>If any of this feels like you, feel free to follow. We underdogs have to stick together.</p><p><br/></p>
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