LETTERS I SENT - by Bibi Ire

I told myself I wasn’t going to do this again.I promised my heart that I wouldn’t come back to this place where my emotions pour out uncontrollably. But today, with the silence around me and the weight pressing on my chest, I realized I wouldn’t feel okay until I wrote everything down. At first, I wanted to title this Letters I Never Sent, but that isn’t my truth.This is a letter I actually sent...a piece of myself I’m choosing to release. So I began. .... To the man behind my smiles… It’s been two weeks.Just two weeks, yet it feels like months stretched across my heart. Two weeks of you acting like we were never anything.Two weeks of you moving like nothing ever happened between us. And every day, I wonder if this was intentional… if you had it planned… if your heart checked out long before your body did. Because maybe it’s easy for you.But for me?The more I try to let go, the more I feel myself holding onto memories I wish I could forget. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry again.I swore I wouldn’t break down over this.But the moment I scrolled through our pictures and videos today, I couldn’t help it. Everything came rushing back—your laughter, your face, the way we looked so peaceful together. Life was supposed to happen, yes.People drift.But I never imagined it would be like this.Not this suddenly.Not this painfully. With you, I found peace.I found serenity.I found a depth of emotion I didn’t even know I had.And now, a part of me regrets making it official.Because if I had known, I would have left it as “casual.”Maybe then, this wouldn’t hurt so much.Maybe then, the ending wouldn’t feel like my heart tearing silently. I’m not writing this because I’m angry.I’m not writing because I want to fight.I’m not writing because I’m desperate to have you back. I’m writing because this is the only way I can breathe. For two weeks, I’ve pretended to be fine.I’ve smiled in public while holding my chest in private.I’ve acted brave while fighting tears no one sees.Sometimes, the pain hits so sharply that I have to pause and force a smile because I’m not alone. I know anger damaged things.Maybe anger destroyed what we had.Maybe it pushed us apart faster than distance ever could. But still… I don’t want to give up. The only time I will truly give up is if you read this message and ignore it… or block me… or act like my words mean nothing.Then I will know I made another terrible mistake. You said this was supposed to be a break.But is it still a break, or am I the one broken? It’s been two weeks since I last saw your smile.Two weeks since I heard you call me.Two weeks since I touched your beard.Two weeks since we last had a real, heart-to-heart conversation. These little things… they break me.And I keep wondering if they ever cross your mind too. These two weeks have taught me a lot.They taught me how to be brave even when I’m hurting.They taught me how to detach even when my heart refuses to.But the biggest lesson?I learned how not to give up on what I love. Maybe it’s selfish.But I love you.And I always will. Yours sincerely,The girl you loved.

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