Manipulation - by Olaitan Sanni

<p>The light of the smartphone was the only sun in Dimeji’s universe. From his home in Lagos, he watched Lola’s life in Abuja through a 6.1 inch screen. For two years, they had shared everything, secrets, dreams, and thousands of hours of video calls, but they had never physically touched.</p><p>In a "Never Met" relationship, the screen is both a bridge and a blindfold. Lola was a master at using both.</p><h1>THE DIGITAL PEDESTAL </h1><p>It started with Lola making Dimeji feel like the only man in Nigeria who truly understood her.</p><p>"I love how driven you are, Dimeji," she’d whisper during their 2:00 AM FaceTime sessions, the soft glow of her room bulb illuminating her face. "Men here in Abuja are so superficial. You’re the only one who actually sees me. I’m saving myself for the day we finally meet."</p><p>This was the Love Bombing phase. She created a "soulmate" narrative that made Dimeji feel chosen. He stopped going out with friends because he wanted to be available whenever she called or text. He felt that a "connection this deep" required total sacrifice.</p><p><br/></p><h1>THE VIRTUAL LEACH </h1><p>By the eighteen month mark, the tether had tightened. Because they had never met, Dimeji felt a constant need to prove his loyalty. Lola weaponized this.</p><p>"I had a terrible day at school , and I just needed to hear your voice," she’d text after he’d been offline for thirty minutes to do laundry. "But I guess you were busy. It’s fine. I’ll just handle my stress alone. I forget that I’m more invested in this “relationship” than you are."</p><p>This was the Guilt Trip. Every time Dimeji tried to live a life in the physical world, Lola made him feel like he was abandoning her in the digital one. He began to feel that his "real" life was a distraction from his "true" life with her.</p><h1><img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/AQMy4lzd0jUaZ9BTQg3vRvxiXfvOKtVI6dVtOSA3N0x2sZmif_mrEuv9VSBV3iMTUx2lTSlTKf9VPtzOL2hOEjXA.jpeg"/><br/></h1><h1>THE SILENCE OF THE SCREEN </h1><p>The true manipulation was the Silent Treatment.</p><p>One Saturday, Dimeji posted a photo of a friend’s wedding in Lekki. He was laughing, looking sharp in his agbada. Lola didn't "like" it. She didn't reply to his texts for two days.</p><p>When she finally surfaced, her voice was cold. "I just needed to withdraw, Dimeji. Seeing you so happy without me... it reminded me that while I’m here waiting for us to happen, you’re out there living as if I don't exist. It’s clear you don't value our 'connection' as much as I do."</p><p>She was Playing the Victim, turning his normal social life into an act of betrayal. To "fix" it, Dimeji started sending her more allowances, trying to buy back her "presence."</p><h1><img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/AQNH0QqKau5uPXqLo53h0dOgTQBJQf2PDBBHlZFyu6ACVmLw11zhZNlwx1YYGyfpMiBYo0vYFQbwQ87kekStiVGr.jpeg"/><br/></h1><h1>THE FALSE WITNESS </h1><p>Because they had never met, Lola curated a reality that kept Dimeji off-balance. She started mentioning a "persistent" neighbor in her estate, Segun, who kept "Toasting her and wanting to be friends”. She’d send him screenshots of his chats showing his desperation towards her. </p><p>"He’s so annoying, Dimeji. He told me today that a man who hasn't traveled from Lagos to see me in two years doesn't really love me. I told him he’s wrong, but... sometimes I wonder if he’s right."</p><p>She was Triangulating, using Segun to make Dimeji feel inadequate and desperate. She was pushing him to prove his love through more money and more attention.</p><p><br/></p><h1>THE FINAL SHUTDOWN</h1><p>The end came the day Dimeji received a DM on instagram from a guy in Port Harcourt.</p><p><br/></p><h4>“Hey bro. I see you’re always commenting on Lola’s posts. Just a heads up... does she tell you about a 'creepy neighbor' named Segun? Because she told me the same thing while we were 'dating' last year. I found out Segun is actually her cousin who she uses to make guys jealous.”</h4><p><br/></p><p>The house of cards collapsed. Dimeji realized "Segun" wasn't a threat, he was a tool. That evening, Lola called, her voice soft. "Hey babe. I miss you, how I wish I’m with you right now to feel your touch and Kiss you”<br/></p><p>"Lola," he said, his voice steady. "I’m not your baby anymore. I just talked to the guy from Port Harcourt. Tell your 'creepy' cousin Segun I said well done."</p><p>The silence on the other end was absolute. No excuses, just the cold void of a manipulator caught.</p><p>"Goodbye, Lola," he said. He blocked her, deleted her number and restricted her from all of his socials. The phone light finally went dark, and for the first time, the air felt like it belonged to him.</p><p><br/></p><blockquote>If someone is making you feel like you’re losing your mind, they’re usually the ones who took it.</blockquote>

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