<p>I’ve always gotten what I wanted.</p><p>Cute clothes.</p><p>Good schools.</p><p>Annual trips.</p><p>Men.</p><p>Everything I wanted just had to lean my way, any means possible.</p><p>But you… you were the first thing in a long time that refused to be handed over easily.</p><p><strong>I had to earn you.</strong></p><p><br/></p><p>I had gotten too used to winning with words.</p><p>Too used to being the storm people rearranged themselves for.</p><p>Because you didn’t rearrange.</p><p>You just looked at me like you could hear all my secrets breathing under my skin,</p><p>and that made me try harder.</p><p><br/></p><p><strong>I just had to have you.</strong></p><p><br/></p><p>And in that little time, you taught me something I hadn’t known I needed:</p><p>how to hold myself,</p><p>how to cradle the quiet ache in my chest and not flinch,</p><p>how loud my attitude sounded in a world where silence alone is louder,</p><p>how to be better.</p><p>You didn’t need to clip my wings because you made me realize I never could fly, not yet anyway.</p><p>I was all confidence, all bright feathers, all performance.</p><p>A peacock, not a phoenix.</p><p>And even then,</p><p><strong>I learned from you.</strong></p><p><br/></p><p>You always said, “Your mouth will put you in trouble.”</p><p>And maybe you were right.</p><p>The same mouth that could summon anything,</p><p>“I want it, I got it,” my siren call,</p><p>was the same mouth that tossed you away with one reckless sentence and a tone dipped in heat I didn’t know how to control.</p><p><br/></p><p><strong>I lost you.</strong></p><p><br/></p><p>Forbidden but never to be forgotten.</p><p>Not lovers, not anything with a label, yet somehow…</p><p>we burned each other.</p><p>I liked the temperature of us more than I cared to admit.</p><p>You were the kind of wound that made me feel alive,</p><p>the ache that made me aware of my own heartbeat.</p><p>I never knew what heartbreak was with other men,</p><p>pretty boys who fell easily,</p><p>men who said yes before I even asked.</p><p>But losing you, a man who was never mine?</p><p>It felt like I had replaced Adam and misplaced my rib,</p><p>like God took back the breath He used to make me.</p><p><strong>I need you.</strong></p><p><br/></p><p>It was my mouth.</p><p>My sharp, reckless, honey-poison mouth.</p><p>The same mouth that sang of forever,</p><p>the same mouth that took you away,</p><p>the same mouth that whispers, pleading for your return,</p><p>trying to pull at the knot you left in me.</p><p><br/></p><p>Maybe we would meet again.</p><p>Maybe we’ll pretend we don’t remember.</p><p>Or maybe you’ll hear the tremor in my voice</p><p>and know I never truly loosened</p><p>what you tied in me.</p><p><br/></p><p>Maybe we’ll always be</p><p>a little shoelace twisted.</p><p>Till then,</p><p><strong><em>I yearn for you.</em></strong></p>
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