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Quietly Loud
Creative Writer | History Student | Learning People and Processes @ Lagos State University
Patriarchy From The World..... To My Doorstep
<p>What is patriarchy? </p><p>Why is it so loud… so present… so normal in the world, in Africa, in Nigerian homes?</p><p><br/></p><p>I didn’t learn it from a textbook. </p><p>I lived it. </p><p>I grew up in it. </p><p>I watched it unfold everyday not with fists, but with words. </p><p>With glances. </p><p>With rules. </p><p>With silence.</p><p><br/></p><p>As a little girl, I didn’t know what it was called. </p><p>I only knew the weight. </p><p>The rules carved into my back: </p><p><br/></p><p>“Let your brother sit in front,you don't know you're a girl."</p><p>“You’re a girl act like one.” </p><p>“This one, lazy girl who will marry you?” </p><p>“You'll go to a man's house someday better learn how to cook.” </p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>These were not just statements. </p><p>They were sentences. </p><p>Life sentences. </p><p>Sharp thorns wrapped in "tradition." </p><p>They pricked me young and bled me quiet.</p><p><br/></p><p>And it didn’t start in my home. </p><p>It’s bigger than me. </p><p>Bigger than this country. </p><p>It has sat in rooms across centuries. </p><p>Passed down from mouths of fathers to sons.</p><p>From mothers too tired to question what they themselves were forced to swallow.</p><p><br/></p><p>In my society, women are becoming more educated, more outspoken, </p><p>But many still live in cages golden, decorated, cultural cages. </p><p>We glorify the silent wife. </p><p>The tired mother. </p><p>The woman who forgets herself to raise everyone else.</p><p><br/></p><p>In many Igbo homes, a woman is seen as property </p><p>Bought with a bride price, brought into a house to bear children, </p><p>To cook, clean, and "serve" her husband. </p><p>Her body? Not hers. </p><p>Her dreams? Secondary. </p><p>Her pain? Invisible.</p><p><br/></p><p>Yet we ask: </p><p>“Why is she so bitter?” </p><p>We mock: </p><p>“She’s a feminist she hates men.”</p><p><br/></p><p>But what if she’s just surviving? </p><p>What if she watched her mother shrink every year? </p><p>What if she’s tired of being told to stay small?</p><p><br/></p><p>Yes, some misuse feminism. </p><p>But many of us we live it. </p><p>We fight every day to unlearn the lies we were raised on.</p><p><br/></p><p>I don’t hate men. </p><p>I just want more for women. </p><p>More than survival. </p><p>More than silence.</p><p><br/></p><p>I pray for a better today. </p><p>A freer tomorrow. </p><p>A world that doesn’t just tolerate women, but values them.</p><p><br/></p><p>I pray for education, empowerment, and empathy. </p><p>That we stop raising boys to rule, </p><p>And girls to kneel.</p><p><br/></p><p>Let’s break the cycle. </p><p>Let’s name the pain. </p><p>Let’s build something better.</p><p>Because this… </p><p>This is not just tradition.</p><p><br/></p><p>This is trauma.</p>
Patriarchy From The World..... To My Doorstep
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Quietly Loud
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