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Student @ Babcock University
Peace Over Chaos Part 2 of 5 — Softness Isn’t Access
<p>I am soft.</p><p>That was never the problem.</p><p>The problem was that I treated my softness</p><p>like proof </p><p>like if I stayed tender long enough,</p><p>someone would finally meet me with clarity.</p><p>They didn’t.</p><p>Softness isn’t an invitation.</p><p>It isn’t a door left open.</p><p>It isn’t permission to come and go,</p><p>to test waters,</p><p>to return when loneliness hits.</p><p>I learned that the hard way.</p><p>There was a time when someone wanted me loudly</p><p>but chose me quietly —</p><p>when affection came without intention,</p><p>and desire pretended to be depth.</p><p>Wanting me was easy.</p><p>Choosing me required courage.</p><p>Clarity.</p><p>Consistency.</p><p>Things he didn’t have.</p><p>Or wouldn’t offer.</p><p>And I stayed soft anyway.</p><p>I confused patience for love.</p><p>Chemistry for safety.</p><p>Being desired with being valued.</p><p>Not anymore.</p><p>Now I know tenderness is sacred.</p><p>That access to my emotional world is earned,</p><p>not assumed.</p><p>I can miss you</p><p>and still not reopen the door.</p><p>I can be warm</p><p>and still have boundaries.</p><p>I can be loving</p><p>and still walk away.</p><p>Softness, when paired with self-respect,</p><p>becomes power.</p><p>Peace taught me that.</p><p>And chaos?</p><p>Chaos no longer has access to me.</p><p><br/></p><p>-IC</p>
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