Stop Talking to Women Like a Job Interview (Fictional Story)

At the University of TwoCents, cafeteria gist was always louder than the blender in the juice stand. That day, Tobi Igbinedion and his guy Cyrus Majebi—co-founders of TwoCents and part-time mischief makers—walked in like they owned the place. Tobi spotted her first. A fine girl with the kind of confidence that makes even WiFi signals respect themselves. “Cyrus,” he whispered, adjusting his imaginary designer belt, “watch and learn. Today, na masterclass.” Cyrus chuckled. “Just don’t go there sounding like a bank form. No ‘State of Origin, Occupation, Next of Kin’ questions abeg.” Tobi smirked and strolled over. Now, this is where 90% of guys flop. They turn into interview panels: “So, what do you do?”“Where are you from?”“What’s your hobby?” Dry. Predictable. Painfully boring. But Tobi? He was on vibes. He looked at her and said,“Wait… you walk like you already own this university. Be honest—student or undercover VC?” She burst out laughing. First hook secured. From his corner, Cyrus slapped the table. “Ah! Na this kind packaging wey dey make girls forget exam stress.” Tobi didn’t stop there. He tilted his head playfully, “You don’t look like you’re from around here… you’ve got that ‘outsider who came to steal attention’ vibe. Be sincere—na transfer admission abi deportation?” She laughed again, shaking her head. Second hook secured. Finally, when she expected the regular “What’s your name?” Tobi leaned in with a grin:“You seem too interesting not to introduce yourself. Go on, make it impressive. Don’t disgrace your department.” Boom. She introduced herself with a shy smile. Cyrus whistled from the sidelines, “Omo, if na exam hall, you for carry A1 straight. Even JAMB no dey set sweet lines like this.” And the girl? She wasn’t just entertained—she was now the one chasing *his* attention. --- Moral of the story?👉 Tobi didn’t collect data, he created moments.👉 He didn’t beg for attention, he flipped the script.👉 He wasn’t scared to lose her, he made her qualify herself. That’s how you move from boring stranger ➝ to unforgettable vibe at the University of TwoCents. --- Meanwhile, Where is Tobi? Quick side note 👀—has anybody seen Tobi Igbinedion? Because lately, he has been suspiciously scarce. Or is this the assignment he has been carrying out on campus—field research in “Department of Smooth Talking”? 😂 If you spot him outside, give him a shout-out. Because clearly, between running TwoCents and running game, these guy has perfected the art of going MIA on Cyrus and us with style!

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