The Art Of Matchmaking - by Eyitoluwase Soyinka

I am going to read this story,and you and I will wonder why you wrote about them, yes even I am confused!!! I will listen to what you have to say though,because I am curious...truthfully I just like ameboYou will tease an opening " how many of you have gone on a proper Amala date? Forget the cinema stuff...food is true love "and I will agree with you, not because I've gone on one, but because I'm a people pleaser. You will sit down on your bed and begin to reminsce about how it all beganThe time when you freshly entered college as a novice hundred level student, and how your peers hadn't managed this feat...but you had, snagging the attention of all the Big wigs in four hundred level. You will remember how suffocating, the suggestive stares and invites over to their place, made you uncomfortable...but the urge to be popular and remain so, made you glance away, whenever you caught your breasts being spoken to, instead of your face. You will pause.Because that isn't the story you want to share,it's not what you want to talk about....so you would go back to him.I would think this is about HIMbut no you're talking about him You will sigh dramatically, and remember how your friendship started,how him with his height and booming voice was a spec, but you weren't interested,you will remember how your friendmade a passing comment about himand your antenna for love matches elongated like werewolves claws,filled with imaginationyou will jump up and text him" I have someone who fancies you"he responds" send her picture "and you will You will remember how your friendgrumbled at being set up, but you would smilebecause you didn't think it would be a conversation more than ‘ hi ’and yet you will be wrong. Your mind would take you backto how months later,your friend whispersthere's something going on between them now,you'll put up a fuss, because somehow you don't want to vouch for that person anymore,you don't know him like that anymore,but it won't matter,and just like thatyou'll become a matchmaker. Your memory would flash through your eyes. as you recall all the times you saw her smile, and you sighed contendely " he's making her happy". You'll feel suffocated, at all the moments, you remember telling herto compromise, when he couldn't communicate enoughor wasn't doing muchYou'll explain to her about his trauma...you the odogwu trauma translator.You'll tell her to hold him tightbecause we now have princesses out therenot Men Your heart clenches You'll see his actions that are badand turn a blind eye,because you have no other choice,if they fail you failYou'll even go as far as to mention them in prayers,because just like thatyou're a matchmaker. You'll see the light dim from her eyesbut you'll be too caught upin your own ' he needs a condom ' love story,it won't hit you then. She'll complain about himHis ability to go days without speaking to herYou'll finally text him and pacify him ,all while your brain stutters at such folly. I will pause readingand check the time,because it's almost timefor me to resume my exam readingBut you will tell me to wait...you aren't done yet You proceed to show me,how he asked things from her,things she hadn't given to any manand she gave him. and you will know that" that's wrong, you shouldn't have him made your..."But you won't finish the sentence, because you're scared of judging.Still he won't text her for a week even after hitting that. She will then reach her breaking point,she would say no to himand block his ass,But he won't agreeHe'll blow up your phone,begging and cryingand you'll be stupefied.The same low effort king???Mr I'm not very expressive in nature!!!I have childhood trauma(<del>Funny how his trauma only made him silent when she needed love, but poet he turned when he needed access) </del>Suddenly the cat let's go of his tongue and heknows how to begYou'll ask him " you didn't realize how much you loved her, until she couldn't settle for what you were serving her and ended things. Please why are you in my dm??? "And he'll beg and begHe's going to change he'll say. But you've learned a lessonYou don't plan to be a matchmaker the second timeso you'll tell him" I've washed my hands off you( with soap and water) " And just like that, I will understand...the true art of matchmakingIt's simpleDon't take responsibility, for when things go wrong.That Is True Matchmaking.

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