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The Beautiful In-Between
<p>Packing and leaving my home is for sure one of the hardest things I have had to do, or so I thought.</p><p>From painfully learning languages, just to be able to order a simple croissant, or buy a bus ticket, or freezing in winter, while missing home's tropical climate, being judged that you're less intelligent just because you can not put together a sentence, all these things have been hard.</p><p>I have lost loved ones and not being able to attend their final send-offs, I have missed my friends' baby-showers, weddings, good and bad moments, name it all.</p><p>I have made the most difficult decisions, yet, nothing leaves me as hollow as losing what home means for me.</p><p>In the midst of all this, I have grown, I know what it means to pull oneself out of sadness and anxiety, just because it's all you've got, I have met beautiful people, I have had special moments I never would have, had I not left home, I have made new life long friendships, learnt to dream bigger than I could ever dream, I have grown into this beautiful version of myself, but my idea of home has been blurred. </p><p>I love the life I had before, the friendships that I kept and those that I couldn't, but they do not feel like home, more often than not. I love the life I have created, the people in it, but they are scattered all over the world, and not ideally from my homecountry, but they are still home to me. Everything that once felt foreign has become familiar. I am a hybrid of my past and present. When I am back in my home country, some things feel foreign.</p><p>With time, <span style='background-color: transparent; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;'>foreign languages become your default, you even forget words in your first language. The streets become familiar. I have become a mix of an amateur immigrant and a long term traveller, no matter how hard I try, I</span> will never truly feel like home here, or there.</p><p>Despite it all, I would do it all over again.</p><p>I stopped questioning the decisions, but instead embracing it all, living abroad is more than packing suitcases or buying a one-way ticket, it is a gift I have come to truly appreciate, having more than one place to call home! An adventure that very few get to experience, and will forever be grateful for this bittersweet experience. </p><p>What is home for you? What has living abroad taught you?</p><p><br/></p>
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