The Only Thing That Should Shrink Is Your Hair

Black hair — particularly Type 4 hair, which is common among people of African descent — shrinks because of its natural curl pattern and structure. When the hair is wet or freshly washed, the strands tend to contract, appearing shorter than they actually are. This is something us girlies know as “shrinkage.”Now while we battle with that as blacks and Africans, make we no add self sabotage, imposter syndrome and its extended family members known as “fear” and “insecurities” join. Deep sigh. Now let me insert myself small, in typical human, self absorbed/self righteous fashion. 🤭🙂‍↔️😏I think I’m easily one of the most childish, sensitive and sometimes emotionally immature people I know. But as I’ve grown older, I’ve learned to recognize both my strengths and my flaws — especially my flaws — so I can continue to evolve into better versions of myself. I’ll be first to call myself out, first to critique or even joke about myself. But you see one thing I will never do in this life wey I come? I will never sell myself short. Atleast not ever again. It’s why I try my best to never downplay my abilities and always speak highly of what I can do.Emi ke? — I’ll shout it from the rooftops if I have to. And while I don’t oversell o, but you see imposter syndrome? E no hold me for work again. The cheeky bugger!Na why e dey genuinely bother me when I see people — especially women, but really anyone —undermine themselves or act like they’re not enough. I don’t like it, and I don’t support it. And too many women do this without even realizing it — we shrink. Even when we’re doing well, breaking boundaries, and collecting accolades, many of us still question whether we deserve to be in the rooms we’ve earned. We deflect compliments with “Na God” or “I’m just lucky,” instead of standing confidently in our brilliance. From career to creativity, even relationships, women are constantly navigating a world that has taught us to play small. And somehow, we start to believe that maybe, just maybe, we’re not enough — or worse, we’re too much.If I got an instant credit alert for the many times I’ve been told “talk less” and “argue less” and “calm down, you’re a woman”, money for don full my akant pass the 200 naira wey dey inside am right now. 🤭And while I’ve been able to rid myself of this mindset, I honestly wish the same thing could happen to all my girlies dem.In essence; the world benefits when you as woman, show up fully. When you shrink, you’re not being “humble” — you’re robbing the world of the gift that is YOU. You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to wait for permission. And you definitely don’t need to play small so others can feel big. You’ve earned this. Ask for that raise or promotion!Own your space. Walk in that room head held high and strut your stuff!Own your voice. Open your mouth and captivate your peers or even superiors when you speak!No more shrinkage please, outside of your hair, maybe. And if anybody wan ask, tell dem say you too much — and that’s okay. Ps: Incase you’re wondering about the image above this Insight, it’s a screenshot from a conversation had last month, with a much younger friend I deeply respect. She, along with a few others, have often told me how much they admire my confidence — how the way I take up space and refuse to dim my light inspires them. And remembering that conversation randomly while scrolling through my phone is what sparked this write-up. And if this makes any woman — or even man reading this, inspired too, then my work here is done. For now.

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