When the white coat becomes heavy (final part)

<h1>Part two: Those who remain </h1> The coat is still here. It did not leave when they did. It does not even excuse you from feeling heavy, tired and… frail. You wake up and you put it on for another performance. You must wear it. You must answer questions, attend lectures and practicals, submit assignments and pretend the weight is not heavy. Functioning becomes the default. And that default,which feels like survival,becomes a habit.And sometimes the weight is too heavy to even deny.You sit in the practical lab and you are asked to send a medication. Your hands move. You calculate and measure. You write down the method, label the medication and do everything correctly. And suddenly a thought creeps into your chest to interrupt you: someday someone’s life will depend on you. Someday you will sit at a bench after spending long nights researching, and formulate something from scratch. Someday you will sign off a dose that enters someone’s bloodstream. And as exciting as that may sound, it tightens your chest.“Are you ready for such weight?”The question stays longer than it should.Because now, it is no longer about passing exams. It is about competence and responsibility. It is about whether a mind that carries anxiety like a shield, a mind that feels this uncertain, can safely hold someone else’s survival in its hands. Being a topper does not erase this feeling.Anxiety creeps in slowly, running scenarios you did not even ask for. What if you miss something? What if you miscalculate? What if exhaustion blurs your judgment someday?You smile through lab sessions, discuss mechanisms of action with tenacity. You nod when others speak confidently about future specializations, as if you all do not carry the same fear internally.“Are you enough?”"Or are you just performing enough?Depression does not always look like collapse. Sometimes it looks like functioning without feeling, carrying a quiet ache before and after tests. Sometimes it looks like standing in a white coat, competent on the outside, unraveling on the inside.On some days, you think about those who left. You understand them. Leaving is braver. But remaining requires a kind of endurance. Staying means sitting with the fear and confronting the weight instead of escaping it.The coat is heavy, the responsibility heavier.And here you are, trying to grow into both. But there is a question you have not yet have the courage to ask yourself.If one day you remove the coat,not for a lecture, not for an event, but completely—who are you without it? Without the title. Without the expectations. Without the quiet competition and the weight of responsibility stitched into fabric.If you remove the label “pharmacy/medical/engineering student", whatever it is you're pursuing,what remains? Because perhaps the heaviest part of the coat was never the coursework or the fear.Perhaps it was believing that it defined who you are And perhaps,you are more than what you are trying so hard to become.

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