Why Didn't We Speak Up? - by Delight Anumba

You see, I've always wondered.‎Why didn't we speak up?‎What's stopping our voices from being heard?‎I finally got my answers but here's how it all began.‎‎I've heard stories about girls who had to go through sexual abuses, while I was little.‎Sometimes I read about such gruesome acts on the newspapers or some story book.‎Most times, our school counselors tells us about it.‎I kept asking myself...‎So, why didn't I speak up?‎‎I always felt it could never happen to me.‎Until one day.‎That day when he introduced me to porn and I looked away because of the teachings and instructions I had received.‎" don't watch movies about naked people." They had said.‎So I tired to run away but he caught me, forced me to watch it with him and touched me in places no one had ever touched me before.‎So, why didn't I speak up?‎‎Oh but I did.‎I was told "oh he was just playing." "oh it was probably a mistake." " Just ignore him." "pray and everything will be fine."‎But everything never got "fine" it only got worse.‎So, why didn't I speak up?‎‎I was tired of seeing myself as a malfunction.‎The odd one in the society.‎At some point I'd touch myself to get that satisfaction and safe mentally that his hands are NOT on me.‎Trying hard to get rid of the irritation that comes with it afterwards.‎But, little did I know that masturbating was becoming an addiction.‎So, why didn't I speak up?‎‎I was so boy crazed.‎My hormones would rise, each time I'm close to a guy.‎I felt like maybe if I let them touch me, I'll feel better.‎I'd look at girls around me and how they never allowed "boys" to touch them because it's too downgrading for them.‎So, why didn't I speak up?‎‎I taught it was something I could pray about.‎It began to appear to me like I wanted to be touched by these men.‎So, I went to the church.‎The preacher mounts the pulpit.‎He talked about sin.‎Mentioned a whole lot like, sexual immorality, masturbation, homosexuality and the likes and said how much God hates such sins.‎I began to think, "so even God doesn't love me?"‎I looked around the congregation and most people were nodding their heads, in support of what the preacher had said.‎So, why didn't I speak up?‎‎To the millions of girls and boys out there.‎Why didn't we speak up? The world is asking.‎But wait...‎How can we speak up, when the society keeps pointing fingers at us?‎How can we speak up, when we are seen as plagues in our places of worship?‎How do we speak up, when we are painted as "False Hope", even when we are trying our best to stand and speak up?‎We are always left with the scars at the end anyways ‎So, why didn't we speak up?‎

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