Why You should NEVER settle - by Oluwatoyin Odunuyi

Lonely and settle, or lonely and wait till you find your person. Choose. But before you do, remember that skit where the girl said she loved flowers; she married an abuser; Her friends kept telling her to leave him, and she gave him more chances because she didn't want to be alone, and at the end of the day, the stupid man put flowers in her grave after killing her. At least she got her flowers; that skit stayed with me because it mirrors how many people tolerate danger in the name of love. I know what you’re thinking in this season,” Oh darn it, I have no one; I am lonely, let me text my ex, and just find out how he is doing. I know he gaslighted me and slapped me, but I’m texting him with the love of God. Maybe I will even cast the spirit out of him during the call.” Hmmm. Nooooo. Leave the casting of spirits to the likes of Apostle Emmanuel Iren for now. Or your case may just be to accept the love of someone who is not good for you. Let’s address the elephant in the room, which is loneliness. Years ago, I was lonely and thought of reconnecting with an ‘old flame’ This person was in no way good for me, or my destiny, but I missed the old times. BUT thank God for my good friends who knocked some sense into me. There was no use going back to my vomit or starting what I could not finish. Plus, I had cried enough! Take it from me: Loneliness is very uncomfortable, and unconsciously, it can turn you into a hater or a desperate person. You may feel burdened by the fact that you’re the only one without a partner, and then you will do anything to get someone (out of desperation). And desperation leads to settling; You probably think,” At least there is someone who is calling me every day." Become a Medium member What if he’s calling you names? Oh, sorry, sorry. The effect of settling is expensive. You may end up in the hospital for physical scars or with a psychologist because you would need therapy. And if you have an HMO, you're lucky. But for real though, I used to think God was punishing me by keeping me single and there was something wrong with me; But really, God was just blocking relationships He knows I would regret in three business days. I would notice that the ‘talking stage’ will just fail; In fact, God doesn’t need me to pray that ‘if he is not for me, remove him.’ prayer. My dear, He does it without my permission because he knows His daughter and the fragility of her heart. I’m sure you can relate to this. Your season of loneliness (singlehood) is not to punish you. Sure, some days you’d love the company, especially someone with dark erotic eyes or the one who tickles your beard, but deep down, you know what you don’t want rubbish anymore. Those nonchalant responses? Those little efforts? The relationships that require you to cancel your God-given dreams? No, you don’t want that. You want your PERSON, the one God has designed for you. But if you overlook all the red flags in one person because you want some ‘lovin’, you’re going to get hurt. Being single is just a phase, and it will pass (I know, it’s been 6 years), but it will happen at God’s time. I’ve taken my time being single to work on all my red flags (not that I have any) and to chase my goals. Who knows if I will have time to do homeless outreach before I marry my Nigerian Renzo? I’m taking this time for ME and doing things I want to do. And I’m also trusting God for the gift of common sense, that I won’t sabotage my blessings. Because that is real like mad. So, please, being lonely shouldn’t make you desperate and settle. Please don’t text that bad boy with tattoos, and suddenly lower your standards because it’s 11:47 pm and the weather is cold. Use a blanket, or better still, take a cold shower (It helps, trust me) If you’re lonely in this season, or have been lonely for a while, I pray that the right partnerships come to your life. I also pray that you are very conscious of God’s presence around you. I know He will never leave you. When the right person comes, it will be amazing! And you won’t accept them just because you were lonely. You’ll choose them because they align with you, your values, and your destiny. Remember the story of the girl who loved flowers; Loneliness is temporary. Settling can cost you your life.

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