YOU, SOLAPE. YOU - by Laseeee

If our friendship was as easy as it seemed in primary school "you're not my friend again" would be my retort to every evil deed you've done. Instead, i have traded the cries of "why did you take my pencil, i would tell my mummy for you" for shouts of "how dare you snatch my boyfriend! I would deal you" all because of you, Solape. You chose to embrace my man with open legs, choking him with your love till he coughed out the question "would you marry me". You, solape, You stole my happiness just the way you stole my clothes in uni.The betrayal, yet to take its place beside the titanic, was futher poked by the icebergs of your wicked heart. You, Solape. You sent me a death threat written in cursive. With trepidation i digested the bread i had eaten in the morning with a spoonful of your honeyed words , the enticing bend of each gold plated alphabet doing little to distract me from the bullets of impending doom you are about to release. I am to appear at EKO hotel in 10 days wearing a teal garb and a Golden crown of shame, 9 am prompt for my execution. You, solape. You had the effontry to invite me to your wedding.Davido's E ma Dami Duro blasting from the speakers of the headquarters of Wazobia FM to the radio of my toyota camry did nothing to quicken the rotation of a nigerian's tyre. It is 8;50 am and EKO hotel is 30 minutes away. The green eye twitch of the 7ft traffic controller serving as a reminder to move faster and i do because i know that you, solape. You don't tolerate lateness. On the passenger seat of my wine coloured snail, the untied fabric of my Gold gele sat. Riding with me also was my well prepared gift of objection, beautifully wrapped in the shining stories of your escapades. This gift that i plan to unwrap in the presence of five hundred unsuspecting guests, would reveal a set of precious lies that you would wear on your neck till it strangles you with its beads of deceit, Then everyone would know that you, solape. You are evil.If anyone told me this morning that shame would tie my gele in a bow i would've laughed hard, perfecting my witches' cackle with each heave but you, solape. You continually suprise me. My footsteps are on the dance floor but they move to the sound of the opening doors of the exit, the shadows of your bodyguards leading the way as i shimmy in embarrassment , all because of you, solape. You commanded it.Now i find that the white stones of death beautifully compliments the wooden bowl in my hands, this bowl of cereal representing the breakfast that solape would soon eat. Her name i cried three times into my calabash, my bleached fruitloops of wickedness serving as a suitable offering to sango. You have embarrassed me solape, so i must do the same to you. You took my baby from me so i have to take the babies you would make with him. You, solape. You stole my new clothes in uni, so i would strip you of everything you own. You, solape. You stole my pencil so i take your life in my hands, sketching the potholes of a disaster that you call your marriage. You, <a class="tc-blue" href="https://solape.You" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">solape.You </a> have crossed the line. You, solape. You have made friends with an obanje and i would deal with you.

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