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Comedian Davinci Cfrn Nigeria
Standup comedian & compere || Radio & TV personality || creative director || Founder: wave inc. @ Federal University of agriculture Abeokuta
Abeokuta, Nigeria
390
54
20
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In Arts and Crafts 2 min read
A masquerade was beaten into emergency by a crazy human 😂
<p>One of the funniest things I experienced while practicing in Nigeria was the day they brought a masquerade to the emergency room.</p><p><br/></p><p>Yes, a full masquerade.</p><p><br/></p><p>Not the man behind the masquerade. The actual masquerade — costume, mask, everything — was brought into the emergency room like a regular patient. And the situation became even funnier when I realized this masquerade had apparently been in a serious fight with another “crazy human being.”</p><p><br/></p><p>He had been beaten badly.</p><p><br/></p><p>I could literally see blood seeping through the costume, and from the way he was moving, this was clearly not a spiritual emergency. This man needed medical attention.</p><p><br/></p><p>So naturally, I wanted to examine him properly.</p><p><br/></p><p>That was when the people who brought him started shouting, “Doctor, you cannot remove the costume!”</p><p><br/></p><p>I thought they were joking.</p><p><br/></p><p>I asked, “Why?”</p><p><br/></p><p>They looked at me like I had just asked to see the President naked.</p><p><br/></p><p>They explained that the masquerade was a spiritual being, and it was a serious taboo for an ordinary human being to see the face of the “god” underneath the costume.</p><p><br/></p><p>I looked at the masquerade.</p><p><br/></p><p>The masquerade looked at me.</p><p><br/></p><p>Then I heard the most confusing thing I had ever heard in an emergency room:</p><p><br/></p><p>“Doctor, please help me.”</p><p><br/></p><p>I almost lost my professionalism.</p><p><br/></p><p>Because wait.</p><p><br/></p><p>So you are telling me that I am not allowed to see the face of this god because I am an ordinary human being…</p><p><br/></p><p>…but this same god is currently bleeding inside my emergency room and asking an ordinary human being to save his life?</p><p><br/></p><p>😂😂😂</p><p><br/></p><p>At that point, I started wondering how the medical protocol was supposed to work.</p><p><br/></p><p>“Doctor, what is the problem?”</p><p><br/></p><p>“Doctor, I am bleeding.”</p><p><br/></p><p>“Okay, let me examine you.”</p><p><br/></p><p>“No, you cannot touch the costume.”</p><p><br/></p><p>“Then how do I examine you?”</p><p><br/></p><p>“You cannot see the face of the god.”</p><p><br/></p><p>“Okay… so should I treat the costume?”</p><p><br/></p><p>The funniest part was that everybody around me was completely serious.</p><p><br/></p><p>Nobody was laughing.</p><p><br/></p><p>They were genuinely ready to protect the sacred identity of the masquerade while the sacred identity was busy losing blood.</p><p><br/></p><p>And that was when I realized something about Nigeria:</p><p><br/></p><p>We can combine modern medicine, ancient tradition, emergency care and spiritual warfare in the same emergency room and somehow expect everything to work out.</p><p><br/></p><p>Imagine being the doctor who has to write the case note:</p><p><br/></p><p>“Male patient, identity unknown. Presented in full masquerade attire following physical assault by another unidentified human being. Examination limited due to cultural restrictions.”</p><p><br/></p><p>😂</p><p><br/></p><p>But honestly, I still think about that day.</p><p><br/></p><p>Because somewhere in Nigeria, there is probably a masquerade whose biggest fear is not another masquerade.</p><p><br/></p><p>It is the doctor who one day says:</p><p><br/></p><p>“I don't care who you are spiritually. If you want me to save your life, I need to examine you properly.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Now let's settle this once and for all:</p><p><br/></p><p>If you were the doctor, would you respect the taboo and treat the masquerade without removing the costume, or would you remove it because saving a human life comes first?</p><p><br/></p><p>Pick one.</p><p><br/></p><p>And please, don't give me a diplomatic answer. 😂</p>

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