A masquerade was beaten into emergency by a crazy human 😂

One of the funniest things I experienced while practicing in Nigeria was the day they brought a masquerade to the emergency room. Yes, a full masquerade. Not the man behind the masquerade. The actual masquerade — costume, mask, everything — was brought into the emergency room like a regular patient. And the situation became even funnier when I realized this masquerade had apparently been in a serious fight with another “crazy human being.” He had been beaten badly. I could literally see blood seeping through the costume, and from the way he was moving, this was clearly not a spiritual emergency. This man needed medical attention. So naturally, I wanted to examine him properly. That was when the people who brought him started shouting, “Doctor, you cannot remove the costume!” I thought they were joking. I asked, “Why?” They looked at me like I had just asked to see the President naked. They explained that the masquerade was a spiritual being, and it was a serious taboo for an ordinary human being to see the face of the “god” underneath the costume. I looked at the masquerade. The masquerade looked at me. Then I heard the most confusing thing I had ever heard in an emergency room: “Doctor, please help me.” I almost lost my professionalism. Because wait. So you are telling me that I am not allowed to see the face of this god because I am an ordinary human being… …but this same god is currently bleeding inside my emergency room and asking an ordinary human being to save his life? 😂😂😂 At that point, I started wondering how the medical protocol was supposed to work. “Doctor, what is the problem?” “Doctor, I am bleeding.” “Okay, let me examine you.” “No, you cannot touch the costume.” “Then how do I examine you?” “You cannot see the face of the god.” “Okay… so should I treat the costume?” The funniest part was that everybody around me was completely serious. Nobody was laughing. They were genuinely ready to protect the sacred identity of the masquerade while the sacred identity was busy losing blood. And that was when I realized something about Nigeria: We can combine modern medicine, ancient tradition, emergency care and spiritual warfare in the same emergency room and somehow expect everything to work out. Imagine being the doctor who has to write the case note: “Male patient, identity unknown. Presented in full masquerade attire following physical assault by another unidentified human being. Examination limited due to cultural restrictions.” 😂 But honestly, I still think about that day. Because somewhere in Nigeria, there is probably a masquerade whose biggest fear is not another masquerade. It is the doctor who one day says: “I don't care who you are spiritually. If you want me to save your life, I need to examine you properly.” Now let's settle this once and for all: If you were the doctor, would you respect the taboo and treat the masquerade without removing the costume, or would you remove it because saving a human life comes first? Pick one. And please, don't give me a diplomatic answer. 😂

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