Dear Nigeria - by Ayanfe Adeogun

Like… I’m so fucking scared. I won’t lie, I’m so fucking scared. How much more bad news can we afford to hear? I’m at my limit, I swear my heart’s about to tear. Like… It’s like times are so hard, And our leaders don’t care, ’cause they’re too busy embezzling all our tax. How many more times can we cry For our brothers and sisters who have tragically died? It’s breaking my heart. Everywhere I scroll, I see “Pray for Nigeria.” And I pray for Nigeria, ’Cause I’m so, so tired. God, I’m so, so tired. I wake up every morning and pray for strangers That I don’t even know about, ’Cause I don’t want to hear that hundreds have been kidnapped, Or robbed or killed by some bandits in the night. I don’t want to hear about another attack in the North Or an accident in Lagos, those tragic headlines have to stop. And the people at the top don’t care about it enough, They don’t even have the decency to talk… Or address us about the problems, they just keep shut. And it hurts, ’cause those same people suddenly remember how to speak When they want to spread the word, Campaign ’cause they’re running for governor. Like… I just heard about the killings in Jos, And this one hurts ’cause I see the video everywhere. A mother has her son’s head in her arms, Speaking to his body, saying he can’t be dead. And that’s one thing that they try to hide from us, Treating death like it’s some kind of casualty Or statistic. But these were actual people, Somebody’s brother, mother, father, and daughter, Friend and cousin, someone with whom they shared so much laughter. And now they’re gone. How many families are grieving because they lost their loved ones To something that can be stopped? And the soldiers on the frontlines who are supposed to fight Are scared for their lives. I saw a video, a soldier in the wild, Talking about how his unit left him and ran. Now he’s afraid, praying for his life, Because if the bandits find him, he’s a dead man. And where does that leave us? When the people that are supposed to protect us Can’t protect themselves, ’cause they’re just as scared as us. Where does that leave us? When we have leaders that treat human lives as if they’re worth peanuts. Where does that leave us? When the people that dare to protest Are threatened and forcefully shut up. Where does that leave us? When we’ve prayed for a better tomorrow for so long That it’s turning into a myth. All these thoughts in my mind, I’m struggling to sleep. I’m struggling to sleep, knowing it’s not just me. ’Cause what about the people who are hurting much more ’Cause they’re in the thick of it? Going outside their house is like Russian roulette Would they be able to come back and play the game again? And I hate that fear has become normal, That we whisper prayers before stepping outside, That we check our phones with shaking hands, Just saw a news notification, what could it be about Sigh of relief, it’s nothing bad, just some propaganda I hate that hope feels fragile, Like glass already cracked, Like one more headline could shatter it completely. And somehow… We still wake up. We still pray. We still hope. And maybe that’s the only thing they haven’t taken from us yet, The stubborn belief That one day we won’t have to write pieces like this, That one day “Pray for Nigeria” Will turn into “Nigeria is finally okay.” But today… I’m still scared. I’m still tired. And I’m still praying.

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