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115
Everyone Is 12 Now
<p>“I’m strong and I want to have like fifty kids and a farm.”</p><p>Yeah. That sounds right buddy.</p><p>I can see it already. The farm is always green. The kids are always smiling. Nobody is tired. Nobody is asking for anything at the exact same time. The sun is doing that golden hour thing all day like you want it to.</p><p><br/></p><p>“I don’t want to eat vegetables. Noodles is the only meal.”</p><p>Hell yeah buddy! You're 12! Decision made. World solved. Next problem.</p><p><br/></p><p>“Maybe if there’s crime we should just send the army.”</p><p>Right. Big problem, big hammer. </p><p>There’s something comforting about that. You don’t have to sit with the mess. You don’t have to trace cause and effect. You just apply force and expect the world to behave.</p><p><br/></p><p>Somewhere deep down, you still own that barbie doll, you still kept those stashes of comic books.</p><p>You probably threw them away. Or hid them. Or told yourself you outgrew them.</p><p>You didn’t, you just stopped admitting it out loud.</p><p><br/></p><p>I've got news for you that child is still very much you, you're still 12 and It shows up in how you talk, how quickly you decide things, how fast you pick a side and settle into it like you’ve always been there.</p><p>You hear something complicated and your brain reaches for the nearest label.</p><p>Something that lets you move on.</p><p><br/></p><p>"Good". "Bad". "Us". "Them".</p><p><br/></p><p>And then you start leaving signatures.</p><p>Little marks that don’t change anything, but feel important anyway.</p><p>The way you write your name.</p><p>The way you present yourself.</p><p>The details you make sure people notice.</p><p><br/></p><p>You even see it in serious places.</p><p>Rooms that are supposed to be precise and controlled.</p><p>And still, someone shows up having added a bit of themselves that didn’t need to be there. A symbol, a name styled a certain way. Something that says “this is me”, or "zeus was here", without saying it out loud.</p><p><br/></p><p>It’s the same instinct.</p><p>The one that made you write your name over and over in the margin of a notebook.</p><p>Trying different versions until one of them felt right.</p><p>That never went away, the world just told you it's childish, and you were in a hurry to become an adult. So you suppressed it.</p><p><br/></p><p>Back then it was notebooks and stickers.</p><p>Now it’s decisions, positions, authority, politics, marriages.</p><p><br/></p><p>I keep wanting to think this is about other people.</p><p>It isn’t.</p><p><br/></p><p>Anyway, Zeus was here.</p>
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