HOW TO BE A PEOPLE PLEASER - by Light Martins

Part 03 I believe that the dynamics of friendships are so complicated. Friendship is beautiful, but there is so much PR on how to build relationships, and somehow we always preach about how we should cut off friends at the first instance of a red flag. But real friendships aren’t always that simple. My friend who was my roommate was really dear to me. I loved her so much as a friend. And there is this saying that living together with your friend ruins your friendship, which even after this experience, I do not believe to be true. We spent a lot of late nights talking about the things young teenagers loved to talk about. Our future, our experiences, our unpopular opinions… everything. But you see, you can share a bond with someone so much that you can perceive their energy. You begin to notice when they are sad, angry, happy, or even anxious. Most times, when you have had a little confrontation with someone, your level of maturity will determine the change in energies. And when my roommate came back from her boyfriend’s house, I noticed a shift in energy. It wasn’t anger. It wasn’t sadness. It felt like a slight reflection of resentment. Like a blanket of unspoken feelings. And I could feel it. 😭 Communication, just like it’s important in relationships, is very much needed in friendships. When my roommate stepped into the room from her boyfriend’s house, she acted differently towards me. It made my stomach sting. I asked her why she jollied away with her lover for a week without telling me, and her response was very surface-level. She said he didn’t come to our house for at least a week. And honestly? I felt very much relieved. 😭 But my relationship with my roommate became somewhat awkward. So I tried my best to keep the friendship going by talking about my experiences and encounters with others in my department, in the neighbourhood, anything really. We gradually shoved the issue under the carpet and swallowed whatever we felt and just pretended we were okay. But our energies just weren’t the same as before. She started receiving calls from her family members and answering them outside. We weren’t exactly talking sooo much like we used to. I could notice the struggle. I could see how we were both pretending. But I shrugged it off and acted like all was right. Because, honestly, what else was I supposed to do? 😭 After a week, Prince Charming came by to visit. But this time around, he stayed outside, which made me uncomfortable. It was nighttime as usual. I was together with my other roommates, laughing as usual, and then I got a text message from my roommate saying: “Can my babe sleep over for this night?” I saw the text and burst into laughter. 😭😭😭 My other housemates asked me, “What’s funny?” I showed them the message, and everyone was looking at me and waiting to see what I would decide. And I replied my roommate sarcastically, which offended her a bit. I can’t remember exactly what I said. But I actually agreed for him to stay over for that night. And guess what? He didn’t leave the next day either. 😭😭😭 At this point, I accepted my fate. 😂 I started getting along with her boyfriend. With time, I started hanging around more with my other roommates and my friends at school, so gradually, I stopped coming back home.But I noticed that things started getting out of control pretty quickly A few weeks later….. I fell very ill. To be continued…

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