HOW TO BE A PEOPLE PLEASER - by Light Martins

How To Be A People Pleaser So three years ago, I gained admission into university with a close friend I knew from secondary school. Of course, you can imagine how excited I was. I didn’t have to navigate university in another state alone. 100L first semester, we were ALWAYS together. Everyone admired us. They called us sisters. My name was even saved on her phone as “my ride or die.” We cooked together, went on every little errand together, basically did everything together. Then second semester came and, of course, boys started showing interest in us 😂 We both had someone we liked. On Valentine’s Day, we officially entered relationships. We were so excited to finally have the freedom to kiss boys now that we were in university. I mean, that was one of the first things we wanted to achieve when we got to uni 😭. About a week later, her boyfriend slept over at our house. He said his cousin had left the house with the key and wasn’t going to be back until the next day, so I agreed that he could sleep over. The next day, he slept over again. He said his cousin still wasn’t back. And I agreed. Because, of course, that’s my friend’s boyfriend. Two days eventually turned into four days. Then he left for the weekend and, God, was I relieved. Two days later, he came back. This time around, he started visiting in the late evenings and staying until it was too late for him to go back home. What started as one night turned into four days and eventually turned into ONE WHOLE WEEK. But here’s the weirdest part: I never complained. Not even once. I didn’t tell my other housemates. I never asked my friend, “Why is your boyfriend sleeping over at our house?” Not because it wasn’t inconvenient. It WAS. Abuja was hot as hell, we didn’t have a fan at the time, and I loved staying almost naked at home because, well… I attended boarding school 😂. But because this boy was always around, I couldn’t even be myself in my own house anymore. Slowly, I started drifting away from my friend. The time we used to spend together was gradually being replaced by her boyfriend, who was basically now living with us. And me? I still wasn’t complaining. Because I didn’t want to hurt my friend. I thought I was being considerate. I thought I was being understanding. I thought I was being a good friend. Little did I know that I had a virus running through my blood. PEOPLE-PLEASING. To be continued…

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