Nobody Dresses for the Occasion Anymore (and Trust Nigerians to Copy Everything)
<p>It was supposed to be a simple naming ceremony — just rice, stew, and small chops. But when I walked in, I saw someone in a sequined gown, another in a full corset dress, and one aunty with lashes that could generate breeze, and one uncle in a full three-piece suit like he was about to close a business deal.</p><p>At that point, I had to check my invite again. Was I at a naming ceremony or a red-carpet premiere?</p><p><br/></p><p>Nobody dresses for the occasion anymore. We all dress for Instagram — for the highlight reel, not the event itself. The ‘fit check’ matters more than the function. These days, people take Nigerian time to heart. Showing up late to an event that you didn't host, coming at the peak moment - when the rays of the sun cast beautifully on the earth or when the night sky start to appear and everywhere is shrouded in mystery- that's just perfect for an Instagram reel. Changing outfits - once again at a party you did not host, to create content for your 10k followers and how one way or the other, people seem to turn the most unlikely places, a school or even a burial, into a photo booth background.</p><p><br/></p><p>Trust Nigerians to overdo anything once it starts trending. </p><p>Let one person in Lagos wear boots to a brunch, and next week, everyone from Ikeja to Enugu is wearing boots in 60°C weather. How about the sudden corset obsession, can I be snatched more? they say, waist where? they say. One day, you may even see people wearing corsets into the market- if it hasn't happened already.</p><p>Not to mention people actively wearing LEATHER in Nigeria's heat, as if heat stroke doesn't exist.</p><p>Lets not forget how everywhere you turn, it seems like there's a fashion exhibition going on." I'm heading out with my friends", pulls out a fully beaded dress. Nne, as how? Are you trying to audition for Big Brother Naija?</p><p>Men, don't think I've forgotten about you. I notice how you now dress like you're auditioning for a music video just to buy a phone charger at banex or computer village.</p><p><br/></p><p>We’ve taken “dress to impress” and turned it into “dress to survive social media.”</p><p>It’s not just about clothes though — it’s about belonging. Nobody wants to be the one who looks “off.” We all want to blend in, to be seen, to look like we get it.</p><p>We don't want to be the odd one out- the one that people whisper about or secretly takes a photo of, only for it to end up in that weird three person group chat.</p><p><br/></p><p>I don’t think it’s vanity. I think it’s fear — fear of being the one who looks ‘under-dressed’, fear of missing the vibe, fear of not being noticed. Somewhere along the line, we stopped dressing for things and started dressing against invisibility.</p><p><br/></p><p>And somehow, we've convinced ourselves that the louder the outfit, the more successful the person.</p><p><br/></p><p>So now, when someone says ‘come as you are’, I just laugh. Because ‘as you are’ in Nigeria now means ‘fully styled with backup outfit and ring light.’</p><p>Maybe one day we’ll remember that the event is the main character, not the outfit.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p>
Nobody Dresses for the Occasion Anymore (and Tr...
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