PERFECT DISPLAY - by Gift Olabode

“Love is all you need,” I hear too many times.“Follow your heart,” they say.But I need to think outside my heart now. I need to use my brain. I comfort myself with soothing words as tears drop uncontrollably from my face. Maybe I’ll indulge myself and cry one last time, I thought to myself, as the picture rushed freshly into my mind, refusing to leave me be. The remembrance hurts. It hurts deeply. Maybe this is the price to pay. James and I were the perfect couple.He was the epitome of everything you could ever want in a man. Tall. Dark. Decent, bushy hair. Black-pink lips. His smell was so distinct. Soft. Not the typical kind of cologne every man wears. His scent was something I couldn’t box into words. No. I couldn’t box him into words. He was PERFECT.Oh my, did I mention he cooks? Not the kind of cooking you run to because of hunger. No. His food was the kind that made your stomach growl for more even when it had no more space to take another bite. When I introduced him as my fiancé, my heart swelled with pride as every eye seemed unable to get enough of him. I could feel my head growing bigger than its normal size. Oh, my head was swelling.I smirked at the girls with tiny waists, my face screaming, HE’S MY MAN, before the words could even form in my head. He was perfect. What more could I want? EVERYTHING! Yes. Everything. I’m selfish. I’m greedy.And I want it all. James was a perfect display, except he didn’t match the person I wanted to become. I had built an empire. I owned companies across the world, invested in real estate, built platforms that carried my name, and gave generously to causes I believed in. I had achieved more than I once dared to imagine.But I knew myself. I was not done. This was only the beginning. I wanted a man who could stand beside the woman I was becoming, not one who would be intimidated by her. A man with a vision of his own, who could build, lead and grow alongside me. Someone whose strength would not compete with mine, but complement it. Someone who could carry his own weight while teaching me that I didn’t always have to carry everything myself. I wanted a man I could respect deeply enough to follow. A leader. A builder.A man whose presence would make me better, whose growth would challenge mine, and whose character would give my children something worth looking up to.James ticked none of those boxes. He was just that.A display. I stood in the long, stunning white wedding dress. My father looked me in the eye, ready to walk me down the aisle. “You look beautiful, Angel,” he said softly and gently.A tear escaped my eye. Then another. Then another. Until my face became a relay race for tears.My father smiled and turned towards me. “I know you, baby. And those tears aren’t tears of joy.”He whispered it so softly that only I could hear. I looked ahead. I could see James in his beautifully tailored suit. His sweet smile sat perfectly on his face. The hall was filled with happy family and friends.“Look at me,” I heard my father say as we walked. I turned towards him. Our steps came to a halt.“In a few minutes, that man will be your husband,” he said. Another batch of tears streamed down my face.“You’re not happy, are you?” I shook my head firmly.Whispers began rising around us as guests wondered what the father and daughter were saying to warrant so many tears. My father held my face. “Do you know why your mother allowed me to tell you stories every night until you were nineteen?” I shook my head. “Do you know why I came home to you girls every day, even when my work demanded that I stay away from home for months?” Again, I shook my head.“Because I wanted to model to you what and who a man should be.” His voice became firmer. “A man is the anchor of the family. He protects and provides for his family. Those are the basics.”He paused. “He must model himself and fan his woman into the next version of herself, even when she doesn’t see it yet. He must grow so that his wife can grow, and then his children follow.” His eyes held mine.“He’s the head, not a display, my love.” My heart sank.“If that man over there is none of that, you know it in your heart.” I shook my head.“If he doesn’t fit any of those things, not even the basic ones, run!” My eyes widened. I could see his red eyes through my blurry vision.“Run, Angel.”His voice cracked.“This decision is not just for you. It is for your children.” At those words, something inside me snapped.Anger. Pain. Fear.It all came rushing through me at once.And then, suddenly, it was like I could hear the voices of my children crying. James is not the man I want. The words escaped my lips in a whisper.My father bent down and slipped my heels off my feet.James was walking towards us now. I lifted my gown.And ran. I heard loud noises behind me. People shouting. People gasping.Someone calling my name. But I didn’t stop. I ran as far as my legs could carry me.I RAN. I shook my head, crying, only to find myself back in my room. That scene has been haunting me for the past six months. Six months. And I still wake up with tears on my face.I don’t care.This is the consequence of my decision.And I would rather pay this price than spend the rest of my life paying for a decision I knew was wrong. I would rather lose a perfect display… than marry a husband who was never a HUSBAND.Because sometimes, the person who looks perfect beside you is the very person who would keep you from becoming everything you were created to be.And sometimes… walking away from love is not the tragedy.Sometimes, staying is.

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