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59
The Course of a Good Heart
<p>Why do I keep doing this to myself?</p><p>Getting hurt over and over again.</p><p>Forgiving, and always giving second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth… so many chances that I can’t even count anymore.</p><p>I keep telling myself, they will change.</p><p>Everyone grows up differently. I don’t know how they were raised, so maybe I shouldn’t judge them. Maybe I can help them.</p><p>“I can help them.”</p><p>“They will change.”</p><p>“They just need time and love.”</p><p>But what about me?</p><p>I keep hurting myself over and over because of how deeply I care about others.</p><p>Do they even feel what I feel?</p><p>Do they care?</p><p>They only come when they need something, and once they get it, they leave.</p><p>Why does that make me feel like I’m the bad person?</p><p>Don’t I deserve to be loved and cared for too?</p><p>Sometimes I wonder if relationships and friendships are all scams.</p><p>Is that true? Should I believe it?</p><p>No… because I’ve seen beautiful friendships and relationships before.</p><p>So why can’t I have something like that too?</p><p>Why does my heart always end up shattered?</p><p>Why do people keep disappointing me?</p><p>Sometimes I question myself.</p><p>Maybe I’m the problem.</p><p>Maybe I’m at fault.</p><p>But am I?</p><p>Still, I know I’ll keep believing.</p><p>I’ll keep loving.</p><p>I’ll keep caring.</p><p>And I’ll keep helping.</p><p>It’s who I am. I can’t help it.</p><p>But I know that one day, I’ll meet the right people.</p><p>And when I do, I’ll make sure I’m never the wrong person to them.</p>
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