The Edges I Refuse To Break - by Bello Ibukunoluwa

For the longest time, I thought I was meant to stretch endlessly. To bend, to fold, to make room for everyone and everything, leaving none for myself. I mistook exhaustion for love. I mistook sacrifice for value.....And in that giving, I lost pieces of me I didn’t even know were alive. Boundaries? I thought they were selfish. I thought saying no would make me unworthy, unloved, unfit to exist in spaces where everyone else belonged. So I said yes when I wanted to scream no. I smiled when I wanted to cry. I held hands when I wanted to pull away.And slowly, so quietly, I began to vanish in plain sight.It wasn’t dramatic.No one noticed at first.They didn’t notice the quiet erosion of my energy.The way my shoulders hunched a little more every day. The way my voice softened when I needed to roar.The way my heart, once wide and wild, began to shrink to fit the gaps I was allowed. I thought worth was something I had to earn by enduring, by proving, by bending. But I was wrong. My worth was never conditional.It was never tied to the patience I gave, the love I forced, or the silence I swallowed.My worth existed, fully, in every breath I took, even when no one applauded. It took losing myself to realize that boundaries aren’t walls. They are the fragile, sacred lines we draw to survive.They are the quiet NO that protects a thousand yeses. They are the gentle stop that allows us to hold onto our hearts without fear of breaking.And yet, setting them was never easy. Every time I drew a line, I heard whispers in my mind: They’ll leave. They’ll hate you. You’ll be alone. I learned that boundaries are tested, that people push until they find the softest, most pliable part of us.But here’s the truth I finally had to face: those who love me will not push.Those who see my value will not question it. Those meant for my space will respect the edges I refuse to break. I began to see my life in a new way.Every time I say no to what drains me, I say yes to myself.Every time I step back from what diminishes me, I reclaim pieces of a self I thought I lost.Every time I honor my quiet, my time, my heart, I am teaching the world....and myself.....the most important lesson: I am enough, exactly as I am. And the most beautiful revelation?Self-worth is not loud.It is not flashy.It is not performative.It doesn’t need validation.It is a quiet, steady, unshakable flame that burns in the dark, in the chaos, in the storm of others’ expectations. It is a sanctuary I build around myself, a home I carry within, a voice I finally refuse to mute. So I draw my lines.I hold my ground.I protect my edges.Not to shut people out, but to let in only those who lift me, only those who see me, only those who do not ask me to break.And in this space, I am alive. Fully, fiercely,unashamedly alive.Because people will always test you.The world will always demand more.But my heart, my time, my peace, and my energy? Those are mine. Always.And anyone who cannot see that… was never meant to stay.I am learning that boundaries are not a burden. They are freedom. They are love.They are the clearest reflection of my self-worth.And in that reflection, I finally see me.

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