THE FEAR OF MOTHERHOOD - by Muhammad Mercurial

A heart that despises the sight of children, a heart that feels children mean nothing but emptiness, attention-seekers, and manipulators . That is the kind of heart a young mixed Nigeria-American woman has. Luna is her name and she is the CEO of Luna's Tech Company, married to Asher, a charming young mixed Lieutenant officer in the United State Army. She had made a covenant with her creator to avoid childbearing and Motherhood thing! Luna visited her friend Ophelia. ''Hello, Good evening here, is Ophelia home ?'' Luna asked the disorganised woman, who sat down in her friend's seating room. ''Luna are you alright ?'' Ophelia voice echoed. Luna's heart sank as she realized the changes in Ophelia. ''Jesus!!!'' her handbag slipped off her hands, as she began to weep. ''What happened to you my dear friend ?'' still trying to process the changes in her. Ophelia words come out slowly ''nothing serious, just pregnancy and some labor thing! i will recover in few weeks.'' Luna could not bear but to scream ''Opheliaaaaa!, how could you say that ? You used to be a glowing light-skinned girl, and now what the fuck is this ? look at your eyes! You have not been sleeping at all, are you ?'' Luna take another look at Ophelia and wept. ''It is my child, she cries a whole lot at night and i have to comfort her on my back until she sleeps off.'' Ophelia sigh heavily 'hmmmmm!' Luna held her hands and wipe her tears, '' You see this thing that you got yourself into, i cut you warnings from the onset. I told you this motherhood of a thing is a suicide mission. Now, how do you feel about your situation ? Ophelia stood up to face the full length mirror and she began to weep of her transformation from figure eight lady into a fat shapeless lady with swollen legs, dark circles, dark skin, and fat belly. ''I submit to you in all honesty, i am not sure of how i feel about my child. I am torn between pain and ... maybe had i know...'' she wept. Luna paid a visit to her area sister in her work space, Mrs Willows Burrows. She is a full time therapist. Luna shared Ophelia's struggles with her and she said '' awwch! this is quite concerning but not everyone's body react the same way to motherhood. Ophelia will be fine.'' Luna looked at her with a bombastic side eye and nod her head. In a function, Luna stretched her hands to accept the cheque of 5million dollars, but a loud baby cry jolted her awake. ''oh it was just a dream'' but the crying persisted. She recognized the familiar sound of her neighbor's girl, she got up and knock on their door. Mrs Davina stormed out of her room, baby girl wailing in her arms. ''For goodness, pls take this thing back before she shatters my eardrums!'' she exclaimed, her voice laced with frustration. Mrs Davina's eyes flashed with annoyance, but she bit back a retort and silently return to her room, the baby's cries fading into the distance. As she settled back into her own room, Asher's voice cut through the tension. ''Luna but that was uncalled for. You shouldn't have spoken to her like that.'' Some hours later, at work the sound of a child's cry pierced the air, sending her temper flaring .She strode out to the secretary's office unit, only to find out Luyinda cradling her ailing daughter. ''i am so sorry'', Luyinda said, her voice trembling. ''My daughter's sick, and i couldn't leave her at home today''. Meet me in my office'' Luna said firmly. Luyinda arrived promptly. She dialed her telephone; Jeffrey, meet me in my office,'' when he arrived she gave a stern verdict. ''Luyinda is sacked. Ensure she does not set her foot in the office again. If she does, you will be the one facing termination.'' Asher and his friend Rowand are having conversation then Rowand respond ''going well buddy and by the way Asher, it is been three years since you got married. we are expecting kids now.'' Asher chuckled and said, ''parenthood is not something we rush Buddy. Luna and i are just taking our time. it is not a crime not to have kids in the first three years neither its in the first six years. Rowand said, what if you die or even being part of the military something happened to you and you could not father a child again ?'' Asher's expression turned serious and he replied, ''As shocking and fearful this is, you are telling me the truth my friend. i will think about it. ''Rowand emphasized, ''Work on it man, do not just think about it. ''Asher make attempt to have an affair with Luna but she oblige '' we can not have unprotected sex'' said Luna. Already during the day Asher had created a hole on all the condoms by punching them with Needles. Luna's eyes widened as she stared at the pregnancy test stripe. Asher walked into the room, the shock of her husband presence make the pregnancy test strip slipped off her hands, he picked it up. His eyes scanned the result, and a mixed of shock and excitement crossed his face. ''So i am becoming a father ?'' he asked, his voice filled with wonder. ''Yes baby you are'' said Luna. A week later, Asher's eyes widened in shock as he saw Luna walking out of the rest room with blood over her body. Her face pale and drawn. His phone slipped off his hand, and he rushed to her side, holding her gently. ''Babe, this is the fifth miscarriage','' he whispered, concern etched on his face . He quickly took her to the hospital, determined to get her the medical attention she needed. Luna visited Mrs. Willows, and after a warm welcome, she asked, ''out of curiosity sister, pls tell me do you think i am doing the wrong thing for disliking children ?'' Mrs. Willow said '' ahm, you see, its your call, but do not forget time is ticking for everyone. ''Back in her home, Asher searched for his wireless Airpods, he stumbled upon Luna's wardrobe and he found a collections of unfamiliar medications. Curios, he searched google for information on the drugs. The results revealed that they were abortion pills and pregnancy prevention. His mind began to piece together the puzzled. Luna eyes widened in shock as she walked in. Asher's calm tone turned icy, hid voice rising in anger. ''So, you were the one removing your pregnancies. You made me a fool who believed you had miscarriages. Ha!!! You have removed five pregnancies haaaaaaaa Luna!!!'' His words hung in the air, heavy with accusations. Luna's voice trembled as she pleaded, ''Babe calm down, pls let me explain.'' Asher's gaze pierced hers, his tone dripping with skepticism. ''Go on, i am listening.'' Asher's expression softened slightly as Luna began to speak. ''I was the only child of my mother,'' and Asher cut in ''yes, i know.'' Luna voice trembled as she continued, ''When my father died, after couples of years, my mum remarried and i did not want her to get pregnant because i have seen what pregnancies does to people.'' Asher is looking at her with a bombastic side eye but he still try to keep it cool. ''continue'' he said. ''It reshapes them, stops them from reaching their goals. Asher cut in again ''EH eh!''. Luna voice cracked as she continued, ''My mother became pregnant after all, and on her labour day, she could not gather enough strength to pull and the only option left was through operation and it was only the baby who came out alive with the medical practitioners, my mum could not make it out alive.'' she wept... Asher voice cut in and his eyes narrowed, ''you have told me this before and i know, so is that why you killed my own five unborn children ?'' Asher asked. ''Babe pls let me continue'' she pleaded. Luna's voice trembled with emotion as she spoke. ''Her body was brought out from the labor room. Why should a mother dies because she wanted to bring another person into this World ? Why should a mother body become deformed because she wants to birth another person into this meaningless life ? Why should a mother leg swell because she is carrying her own child ? Why should a mother be spitting around because she is carrying another human being who may later grow up to abuse, abandone, condemn or even use her for money ritual ? tell me why.'' She became paranoid. ''Asher you have to tell me why. You have to tell me why a mother should turn black from a light-skinned girl, tell me why a mother should look wretched with a big nose from a glowing skin, all because she is carrying another human being who may later grow up and decide he would not do what the mother want rather he will follow his own will, of which of course he is free to do so.'' Asher's eyes were filled with tears as he hugged Luna from behind, i submit to you in all honesty my darling wife, i can not tell you why a woman should experience Morning, sickness and severe nausea. My love, i can not say why a woman should go through Physical pain and discomfort [back pain, pelvic pressure]. my sweetheart i can not phantom why a woman should go through sleep disturbance and fatigue, labor pain and discomfort. postpartum recovery and healing. My jewel, all this and postpartum emotional challenges [baby blues, postpartum depression] i have no accurate respond for them but to say every woman's experience is unique. And its all God's doings. Both Luna and Asher are sucked in emotions, and they began to wipe their tears for each other. Asher said ''Babes let gives the tears the privilege to flow freely, they are testament to the female's who took the bold step of becoming a mother and their sacrifices. ANTICIPATE PART TWO

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