THE OTHER ME - by Dolapo Oludairo

THE OTHER ME JumpJust jump already End it, will you??You're tired of the misery aren't you??She says Who's she?Oh. Just the other me. She does this a lot "Maybe there's something left to fight for"Oops. That's the other-other me speaking. She barely has a voice. Well at least she doesn't carry as much confidence as the other me. The other me speaks assured She speaks like she knowsLike she knows doing what she says would end the misery Would it?? I meanShe says it like she knows What if she really does?What if jumping really is the solution? But then what if she doesn't??What if she really doesn't? Sometimes she says jump Other times she says run I don't even know which to listen to Running seems easier But to where??I have nobody Nothing "Pssstt! What about him? He likes you. He'll give anything to see you happy. If you jump it'll kill him. If you run...." Enough!! Maybe everyone is better off without me. I feel like a bad omen The bad luck that happened to each one of themThe villain in everyone's storyThe one whose story changed everything "Well I agree with other-other there. What about him?" But you asked me to jumpYou said.... "You're not ready anyway. You can neither jump nor run. You're so afraid you'll leave him broken, aren't you " "He gave you hope again. I see it too. It's only a tiny spark but it's there " Enough!! I'm unhealed.I'll just stain him Everyone else has walked out of my life How can I be sure he won't?? "Don't be naive! He's spent everyday since you met him reassuring you that he's here to stay. " "Ahem. He also does show up when you're broken without saying a word. He loves y..." But he's been through so much already. I don't want to be another burden "But everyday you work hard. You work hard because you want to make his life better. You see him. Not the man he is , but the man who was. He made, even, me change my mind. " But I'm scared What if I'm not good for him?What if he gets too close and....What if...What if I'm..... "What if you're everything he's ever hoped for? What if you're what he's needed all his life? What if you were both made to live, not just FOR each other, but through each other?? What if he's the path to true happiness. I see his arms stretched out... He wants you. All of you" But what if all of me becomes too much for him. "He made it clear. He wants all of you. You'll never be too much. He calls you perfect for a reason. It's because you are perfect. He worships your every being. To him, you're the god of good tidings. I might only be a tiny voice. But I speak from what you see. He's it. Your future. Can't you see?" "She's right. You feel it, don't you? He's the protagonist in your sweetest dreams. Still the hero in your worst nightmares. And even in reality he continues to save you. You feel it , don't you? In your subconscious, you do. He's the one" I do feel it. When I think of him I see my entire future laid out in front of me. I see my dreams coming through. I see myself building life with him. Step by step. Brick by brick. Children. Laughter. I see it. But... Should I really believe it?? How can I??I've been lied to. I've been mistreated. Even my own family retreated. What's the assurance he'll stay?? "He has said it. He's shown it too. He's going nowhere. Not now. Not ever. You finally found something that's truly yours. Something worth coming alive for. Let it slip and you'll die again." But that's why I'm afraid. What if he leaves? If he leaves I'll die again And this time I might never find redemption What if..... "What if he's scared too? Well since you're so caught up on what ifs.... What if he doesn't want to lose you too? You'll never really find out if you keep dwelling on what ifs for the rest of your life. Isn't it time to finally start living? To truly live the life you've been given? Think about it. Your whole life has been what ifs. You worry so much about the outcome that you never focus on the actions. Focus on the now. The future you worry so much about is just like yesterday. Yesterday was once tomorrow, remember? But it came. And now it's gone. Maybe focus on today. And for the first time, truly live. Seize the moment. Life doesn't always have to be a dream. And reality isn't always a nightmare." Focus on the now?? "Focus on the now" 'Focus on the now. Focus on the good. Focus on the bad. Enjoy the good. Enjoy the ugly. Love yourself. Love your life. Embrace peace within your mind. All you need to do is focus on the NOW." Maybe you're right. Maybe it's time to jump off the what ifs and focus on what is. After all, Que Sera , Sera Focus on the now. Because What will be , will truly be.

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