<p>I’m sorry.</p><p>I’ve said this to myself so many times, just because I’m genuinely remorseful . <br/></p><h1>Tuesday, 17 September 2007</h1><p>Around 2:30 something pm </p><p>That day was so hot that by the time I walked home from school, the road looked almost white from the sun. I changed out of my school uniform immediately and did my assignment as fast as I could. I think that’s the fastest I’ve ever finished homework in my life.</p><p><br/></p><p>Not because I suddenly love school work. I had only wanted to finish everything quickly so I could go outside and play with the other kids.</p><p><br/></p><p>So I just wanted to get it over with before washing plates.</p><p><br/></p><p>Sometimes I wonder why washing plates feels like a family inheritance. In my house, the oldest child washes them until the next child is old enough to do it properly. Then the responsibility gets passed down. My parents’ first child, Niniola, got married a year ago.. Since I’m the last child, female and I’m already fourteen,a perfect fit for the job, the curse has officially ended with me. There’s nobody else to hand it over to.</p><p><br/></p><p>I was still washing when Tomiwa came into the kitchen, dropped the plate he had just finished eating with into the sink, and left. Just like that.</p><p><br/></p><p>The only thing I could do was frown. If I complained, I’d probably be the one getting beaten, and Mum wouldn’t even defend me.</p><p><br/></p><p>But as I kept washing, I remembered something.</p><p><br/></p><p>I have something on him.</p><p><br/></p><p>The night before, Mum sent me to Mallam’s shop to buy salt. When I got there, I saw Tomiwa standing outside the aboki’s kiosk. About ten seconds before I reached him, he threw a cigarette on the ground and quickly stepped on it with his left sandal.</p><p><br/></p><p>He didn’t know I saw him.</p><p><br/></p><p>I greeted him “good evening boda Tomiwa” as if nothing had happened, and he believed me. Before I left, he bought me Speedy biscuit and two orange-flavoured drinks. probably to make sure I kept my mouth shut in case I had actually seen him smoking.</p><p><br/></p><p>I think that was his way of saying, “Please don’t tell Mum and Dad.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Now I’m wondering if I should keep the secret… or remind him that people who dump extra plates in the sink should be nicer to the person holding their secret.</p><p><br/></p><p>But I kept shut anyways </p><p><br/></p><p>After I had finished everything I was supposed to do, evening finally arrived. I wanted to go outside and play with the other kids, so I walked into the sitting room to let Mum know.</p><p><br/></p><p>She was seated on the three-seater couch while her friend occupied the single-seater opposite her. They were deeply engrossed in a conversation about the upcoming cooperative meeting that would be held in our house. Earlier, while I had been washing the plates, I had overheard them mention the Lovely Sisters cooperative, and that explained the neatly wrapped gifts and large coolers that had been sitting in the corner of my parents’ room all day. I figured those were the items they planned to share at the next meeting.</p><p><br/></p><p>I couldn’t bring myself to interrupt Mum. She hated being cut off while talking, especially when she had visitors, but I also knew I wasn’t allowed to go outside without telling her first. So, instead of disturbing their conversation, I quietly walked into my parents’ room and stood by the window, looking outside.</p><p><br/></p><p><img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/0721D0FB-05BA-42FB-8C69-0CFF32468189.jpeg"/></p><p>Their room had a window that overlooked the neighborhood, so I stood there watching the children play outside. The girls had moved on from Suwe to Ten-Ten, and later they brought out their skipping ropes. The boys, as usual, were busy playing football, arguing over goals and celebrating every lucky shot.<br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Families sat outside their houses, chatting with neighbors and laughing together because the evening air was much cooler than staying indoors. The street felt alive, filled with children’s voices, whistles, and the familiar sounds of people winding down after a long, hot day.</p><p><br/></p><p>I watched everything with envy. More than anything, I wished I were out there with them instead of standing behind a window, watching the fun from a distance.</p><p><br/></p><p>I eventually got tired of staring out the window. There was nothing else to do, so I sneaked into Tomiwa’s room. After he had dropped off the plates earlier, he had headed to the game house down the street to play Mario or probably mortal combat, his favorite game. </p><p>His room was filled with all sort of random things. The walls were covered with posters of Ronaldinho, John Cena, and 2face Idibia. I looked around his room for a while. Tomiwa was only twenty, but he always acted so nonchalant that nothing I found in his room really surprised me. Hidden deep beneath his wardrobe were a few Super Strikas comic and some nude magazines. </p><p><img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/E181392A-1E33-47AC-89E8-858762AF74F9.png" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"/></p><p>As I flipped through one of them, I spotted a lighter tucked between the middle pages.</p><p>At that moment, I had all the evidence I needed to report him to Mum. But I wasn’t actually planning to tell on him. I was curious. I wanted to know what smoking felt like. I had been upset that I wasn’t allowed to go outside to play even after finishing everything I had been asked to do, so I convinced myself that I deserved a reward. In my childish mind, smoking seemed like something adults did, and for some reason, I wanted to try it too.</p>
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