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Bigdan Nigeria
I'm Jobless writing stories @ Guardian of Planet Mars
In Literature, Writing and Blogging 2 min read
TwoCents and the House of Meaning - Part 3
<p><strong>THE STRANGE ONES ENTER</strong></p><p>_______________</p><p>From the corner, Oxymoron suddenly stood up.</p><p><br/></p><p>“I disagree with everyone.”</p><p><br/></p><p>The room turned.</p><p><br/></p><p>Oxymoron was a strange character. He always seemed to be carrying two opposite ideas at the same time.</p><p><br/></p><p>“I am the greatest,” he said.</p><p><br/></p><p>Irony looked at him.</p><p><br/></p><p>“That sounds like something everyone here has said.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Oxymoron nodded.</p><p><br/></p><p>“Correct.”</p><p><br/></p><p>“Is that an example?”</p><p><br/></p><p>“Yes.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Nobody understood.</p><p><br/></p><p>Oxymoron smiled.</p><p><br/></p><p>“I bring opposites together.”</p><p><br/></p><p>He raised his hand.</p><p><br/></p><p>“<strong>Deafening silence</strong>.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Everyone became quiet.</p><p><br/></p><p>“<strong>Bittersweet</strong>.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Hyperbole raised his hand.</p><p><br/></p><p>“Isn't that just chocolate?”</p><p><br/></p><p>“No.”</p><p><br/></p><p>“Okay.”</p><p><br/></p><p>“<strong>Living dead</strong>.”</p><p><br/></p><p>“Zombie?” Onomatopoeia asked.</p><p><br/></p><p>“Not necessarily.”</p><p><br/></p><p>“<strong>Seriously funny</strong>.”</p><p><br/></p><p>At that point, everybody looked at TwoCents.</p><p><br/></p><p>TwoCents shrugged.</p><p><br/></p><p>“I don't know why you are looking at me.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Oxymoron continued.</p><p><br/></p><p>“I place contradictory ideas together to create a powerful expression.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Metaphor nodded.</p><p><br/></p><p>“That is actually impressive.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Oxymoron bowed.</p><p><br/></p><p>“I know.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Then came Apostrophe.</p><p><br/></p><p>She walked into the room looking angry.</p><p><br/></p><p>“Move.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Everyone moved.</p><p><br/></p><p>Apostrophe did not use people when she could address things that could not answer.</p><p><br/></p><p>“O Death, where is your sting?”</p><p><br/></p><p>The room became quiet.</p><p><br/></p><p>“Dear Time, why do you run so fast?”</p><p><br/></p><p>Time, somewhere outside, continued running.</p><p><br/></p><p>“Hello, Moon! Why are you watching us?”</p><p><br/></p><p>The moon said nothing.</p><p><br/></p><p>Apostrophe turned to the others.</p><p><br/></p><p>“I speak directly to absent people, dead people, animals, objects, ideas, and forces of nature.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Hyperbole raised his hand.</p><p><br/></p><p>“So if I say, ‘Dear NEPA, why do you hate us?’”</p><p><br/></p><p>“That can be apostrophe.”</p><p><br/></p><p>TwoCents nodded.</p><p><br/></p><p>“That one is very Nigerian.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Apostrophe smiled.</p><p><br/></p><p>“Exactly.”</p><p><br/></p><p>At this point, the debate had become chaotic.</p><p><br/></p><p>Every Figure of Speech was now showing off.</p><p><br/></p><p>Metonymy entered and said:</p><p><br/></p><p>“The Crown has made a decision.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Personification frowned.</p><p><br/></p><p>“What crown?”</p><p><br/></p><p>“The King.”</p><p><br/></p><p>“Why didn't you say the King?”</p><p><br/></p><p>“Because the Crown represents the authority of the King.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Everybody became quiet.</p><p><br/></p><p>Synecdoche then stepped forward.</p><p><br/></p><p>“Don't forget me.”</p><p><br/></p><p>“Who are you?” asked Hyperbole.</p><p><br/></p><p>“I use a part to represent the whole, or the whole to represent a part.”</p><p><br/></p><p>He pointed at a car.</p><p><br/></p><p>“Nice wheels.”</p><p><br/></p><p>The car had more than wheels.</p><p><br/></p><p>He pointed at a businessman.</p><p><br/></p><p>“We need more hands on deck.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Nobody was looking for actual hands.</p><p><br/></p><p>He smiled.</p><p><br/></p><p>“That's me.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Metonymy frowned.</p><p><br/></p><p>“Sometimes people confuse us.”</p><p><br/></p><p>“That's because greatness often looks similar from a distance.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Metaphor clapped.</p><p><br/></p><p>“That was almost my line.”</p><p><br/></p><p>“Almost,” Synecdoche replied.</p><p><br/></p><p>The argument grew louder.</p><p><br/></p><p>Soon, the Figures of Speech began attacking one another.</p><p><br/></p><p>Simile said Metaphor was too dramatic.</p><p><br/></p><p>Metaphor said Simile was too dependent on “like.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Hyperbole called everyone boring.</p><p><br/></p><p>Irony said the debate was “extremely peaceful” as two people began throwing dictionaries.</p><p><br/></p><p>Onomatopoeia shouted:</p><p><br/></p><p>“BANG!”</p><p><br/></p><p>Alliteration screamed:</p><p><br/></p><p>“Stop shouting!”</p><p><br/></p><p>Personification complained that the walls were listening.</p><p><br/></p><p>Oxymoron said the whole argument was “organised chaos.”</p><p><br/></p><p>And that was when the oldest resident of the House of Meaning finally entered.</p><p><br/></p><h3><strong>》》》》》Part 4</strong></h3>

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