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63
What I Wanted To Tell Someone
<p style="text-align: center; ">I grew up in the hallway between two suns.</p><p style="text-align: center;">My sister ahead of me glowing like she owned the sky,</p><p style="text-align: center;">my younger one behind me collecting every warm thing that fell.</p><p style="text-align: center;">And me, the quiet planet spinning in the middle,</p><p style="text-align: center;">trying to matter, trying to be seen from where they stood.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br/></p><p style="text-align: center;">What I wanted to tell someone</p><p style="text-align: center;">is that I learned how to shrink without anyone teaching me.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I learned to fold myself small whenever Dad smiled past me</p><p style="text-align: center;">and landed that smile on her,</p><p style="text-align: center;">the chosen one with the shining voice.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I learned to swallow my own drawings,</p><p style="text-align: center;">hide the girls I sketched like secrets,</p><p style="text-align: center;">because no one ever said “I’m proud,”</p><p style="text-align: center;">and I didn’t want to hear the silence again.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br/></p><p style="text-align: center;">What I wanted to tell someone</p><p style="text-align: center;">is that Mom’s love felt like a door I kept knocking on,</p><p style="text-align: center;">while she held my sisters inside</p><p style="text-align: center;">and forgot I was out there waiting.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I tried to be easy to keep.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I tried to be light.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I tried to be good enough to reach for.</p><p style="text-align: center;">But good wasn’t something that ever opened anything for me.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br/></p><p style="text-align: center;">Some nights I wanted to yell it all into the wall,</p><p style="text-align: center;">tear the words out of my chest</p><p style="text-align: center;">and let them scatter like torn pages:</p><p style="text-align: center;">I’m here. I’m trying. Why can’t you see me?</p><p style="text-align: center;">Why do I feel like the echo in this house</p><p style="text-align: center;">instead of a daughter?</p><p style="text-align: center;">Why do I never land in anyone’s arms?</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br/></p><p style="text-align: center;">But I didn’t yell.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I buried it.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Deep, where even I could barely reach it.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Deep, where the wanting turned into quiet.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Deep, where quiet turned into numb.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br/></p><p style="text-align: center;">And what I wanted to tell someone</p><p style="text-align: center;">before the numb ate the rest of me</p><p style="text-align: center;">was simple and dangerous:</p><p style="text-align: center;">I deserved to be loved too.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br/></p><p style="text-align: center;">Not as an afterthought.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Not as a shadow.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Not as the middle note nobody hears.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br/></p><p style="text-align: center;">I wanted to tell someone</p><p style="text-align: center;">that the middle child grows a strange kind of strength,</p><p style="text-align: center;">born from holding herself together</p><p style="text-align: center;">while no one reaches out.</p><p style="text-align: center;">A strength made of loneliness and longing</p><p style="text-align: center;">and the refusal to disappear</p><p style="text-align: center;">even when disappearing felt easier.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br/></p><p style="text-align: center;">And I wanted to tell someone</p><p style="text-align: center;">that I’m still here,</p><p style="text-align: center;">still drawing girls who take up space,</p><p style="text-align: center;">still learning how to take up space myself,</p><p style="text-align: center;">still trying to believe</p><p style="text-align: center;">that I was never meant to stay small.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br/></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br/></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br/></p><p style="text-align: center;">From: The 'Unspoken Versions Of Me' series </p><p style="text-align: center;">Pt 2</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br/></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br/></p><p style="text-align: center;">I realized you mightn't hear some of the things I said in the audio so I made a text version of it. You're welcome 🙂↔️🙂↔️</p>
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