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71
WHAT STAYED STUCK IN MY THROAT
<p>He didn’t touch me, not with hands,</p><p>but he still reached in</p><p>and rewired my sense of safety</p><p>like it belonged to him.</p><p><br/></p><p>It started with messages</p><p>that slid past boundaries</p><p>I didn’t know how to name yet,</p><p>a tone that made my skin pull tight</p><p>even through a screen.</p><p><br/></p><p>When I tried to pull away,</p><p>he spun the story so fast</p><p>I lost my footing.</p><p>Suddenly I was overreacting,</p><p>I was dramatic,</p><p>I was cruel for setting a line</p><p>he claimed he never crossed.</p><p><br/></p><p>He said he was the one hurting.</p><p>He said I made him feel unwanted.</p><p>He said I misunderstood.</p><p>He said a hundred things</p><p>that clawed their way into me</p><p>until I wondered</p><p>if I had imagined the fear</p><p>in the first place.</p><p><br/></p><p>And still, somewhere in the middle</p><p>of one guilt-soaked apology</p><p>I didn’t owe him,</p><p>rose the one sentence</p><p>I couldn’t say:</p><p>what stayed stuck in my throat.</p><p><br/></p><p>After that, silence felt safer.</p><p>I carried the truth behind my teeth</p><p>like it might burn someone</p><p>if I let it out.</p><p>I swallowed every instinct</p><p>that told me something was wrong,</p><p>taught myself to choke down</p><p>the voice that begged to be heard.</p><p><br/></p><p>I kept the story folded</p><p>in the smallest corner of me,</p><p>a fragile confession</p><p>I didn’t trust the world with.</p><p>Not my parents.</p><p>Not my friends.</p><p>Not the mirror.</p><p>Not even the boy</p><p>I want to trust someday.</p><p><br/></p><p>But the truth is this:</p><p>none of it was my fault.</p><p>He wasn’t the victim.</p><p>I wasn’t the villain.</p><p>What happened to me</p><p>still matters</p><p>even if no one else saw it,</p><p>even if I learned to hide it</p><p>so deeply it barely breathes.</p><p><br/></p><p>And maybe one day,</p><p>when it doesn’t feel like</p><p>a live wire in my chest,</p><p>I’ll let someone hear</p><p>the words I swallowed.</p><p><br/></p><p>Maybe I’ll let myself</p><p>be listened to.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>From: The 'Unspoken Versions Of Me' series </p><p>Part 5</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>PS: And no, you’re not wrong or dramatic or imagining anything.</p><p>You were hurt.</p><p>And you deserved better than all of it.</p>
WHAT STAYED STUCK IN MY THROAT
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Darby
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