WHEN ABSENCE BECOMES A PRESENCE: Lack of Father Figure🌑🕳🚶🏽‍♀🕊

WHEN ABSENCE BECOMES A PRESENCE: Lack of Father Figure🌑🕳🚶🏽‍♀🕊 I stood by the balcony of my school and looked across.All I could see were fathers showing up for their kids' presentations.I sighed and, at the same time, smiled. After all, I was just a kid with little dreams and wild imaginations.At least I was free to dream big. The air around me felt vivid. I noticed a slight touch.I turned — it was a friend, one who cared. (The last I had.)"What are you up to?" she asked."Nothing much," I replied. She left. Back to my thoughts... I smiled.What would it have been like if I had a father figure?Would I have regretted it? What was Father's Day like in my world?Does that word even exist? Nope, it doesn’t! 😊 Growing up, I was asked to say goodnight — not for love, but so others would be sure I’d gone to bedand wouldn’t be called to run errands. But I watched other kids say “goodnight” to their parentsand receive cuddles and kisses in return. 🥺 You just can't hurt me —'Cause you already did, long ago. 😉 I watched my own mum try to bond with me.She tried to fix the gap between us.She wanted us to be best friends.She bought me everything I asked for, even though we were barely surviving with the little she had. She wanted her little girl back…But I’d already forced that little girl out of me. Call me heartless if you want — but don’t blame me. 😁This 19-year-old grew out of love.I just can't fix the bridge. Because the absence beat the presence. I watched my own mum drown in loneliness.I just couldn’t help — because I had already drowned too. “So where were we again?”Oh right...You can’t hurt me. 🤭 Apostle Lazarus once said:“Fathers are meant to be the foundation that holds the house.”Beauty isn’t the word.Strength is. 😌 But what happens when the foundation isn’t laid right from the start? Psychology says:Girls with no or limited fatherly love tend to grow up weak —Going around looking for love in guys. In most cases, they end up hurting themselves more.The wounds shape their boundaries, voice, body image,And sense of safety in the world. Guess what I went looking for? Everything. Everything about me is just... different. They say pain births brokenness.Mine birthed silence and peace. I learned to tame the inner child in me.I can't turn back time.I can't change my mum’s past or rebuild our adolescent bond. They told me to heal up and stop sulking. 😇But do you know what hurt the most? My wounds were hard to heal because: My inner child wants love My teenage self wants revenge And my current self? She just wants peace 😅 Three against one. I said “I was strong” —But really,What kid could’ve handled it? Never mind.No one really cares.As long as I don’t become a nuisance in this world. But I plan to do better.I will use my pain to reinvest in my life.To become the greatest my bloodline has ever seen —And pass it down. So if your dad goes out of his way to make life better for you... Appreciate him.After all, our parents aren't heroes — they're just like us! Because some of us…Never even got to see what that looked like. For instance:Do you know who my father is? “No.”Neither do I. 😉 <a class="tc-blue" href="https://twocents.space/insights/tag/keeyra">#keeyra</a>✍🏽

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