How To Be A People Pleaser - by Light Martins

You know, as much as we crave romance, we actually have no idea at what point or with whom we may eventually fall in love. On Thursday morning, we had GST 104. The lecturer was very boring, and we weren’t so much in class. He was just dictating some boring stuff, and we had to catch up with him because he wasn’t repeating himself either. But I wasn’t bothered because I was a fast writer. There were just two of us on the row I sat on: me and another boy. He wasn’t so fast, so I had to move closer to him so he could write directly from my notes. And when I leaned close to see his note, I noticed something. His handwriting looked like mine. I smiled and said, “We have similar writings.” 😂😭 We laughed it off. At that point, that was all it was. Just two freshers sitting beside each other in a boring GST class, trying to keep up with a lecturer who had apparently decided that nobody needed a second chance at his dictation. After the class, we got talking and introduced ourselves to each other. We walked out of class together because we were freshers, basically looking for acquaintances to help us navigate campus. Everything was still new. You needed people who knew where things were, people you could ask questions, people you could walk around campus with without feeling completely lost. We exchanged contacts and eventually got talking. He was so fun to chat with. And somehow, every time we had a class, we would meet and go together. It wasn’t anything serious at first. Just conversations. Campus stress. Classes. Random things. The kind of conversations you have with someone who is slowly becoming familiar to you. Then the school bag I was using back then got torn. And he offered to mend it for me. I can’t lie, I was so happy about that. I meannn, he was doing it for free for me. 😂 It was such a small thing, but somehow, it made my heart tingle. I think that was how it started. Not with some grand romantic gesture. Not with butterflies immediately. Just little things. Little talks about campus stress slowly became conversations about our personal lives. And before I knew it, we found ourselves in the same friend group. This friend group consisted of seven of us. We started visiting each other’s houses because we all didn’t live in the same area, but Goddd, I loved that friend group. It was bubbly and a mix of different personalities. There was always something to talk about. Someone was always making someone else laugh. And because we were all becoming closer, I started seeing more of him too. Gradually, we became closer. And then there was something I started noticing about myself. Anytime I saw him these days, I would get this feeling below my chest. It was a mix of childish excitement, teenage exuberance, and some gems of shyness. And I didn’t even know what to do with the feeling. I started wondering how to act around him when I was just with him, which was weird because we were great friends. Why was I suddenly becoming shy around someone I could talk to so freely? I didn’t have an answer. Maybe I didn’t need one yet. Then one particular day, the friend group decided we would visit the friend with the biggest space. So we went. We prepared a meal as friends, talked about so much, and laughed sooo hard. 😩😩 It was one of those days where you don’t realize how much time has passed because everyone is having such a good time. After so many hours of chattering, everyone broke into groups of two, as per their favourite. So me and my friend decided to go on a walk. We got talking about our department and the little dramas here and there, now that we knew our course mates better. It was just the two of us walking and talking. And somewhere in the middle of that conversation, he asked me gently, “Can you be my girlfriend?” And just like that, all those little feelings I had been trying not to think too much about suddenly had a name. The sudden peace and comfort in my chest turned into my heart racing and swelling. I thought it would explode from my chest and kill me. I don’t know if it was fear or anxiety, but I was somewhat confused. Because I really liked this boy. And this was going to be the first time in my life I entered a relationship. So I agreed. And he didn’t even hide how excited he was that I had agreed to be his girlfriend. On his end, it was his first time being in a serious relationship too. We were age mates and had some characters in common. For a while, it felt like we had gone from two strangers sitting beside each other in a boring GST class to something neither of us had planned. But somewhere along the lines of our relationship, there came rifts. I was so upset with him for only God knows why, so I refused to speak to him for a while. And while all of that was happening, something else was happening in my life too. I fell ill. I was so sober. I was so weak, and I couldn’t stand, eat, or do anything myself, so my roommate had to help me. Me and my roommate knew the password to each other’s phones. We could pick up each other’s phones and just use them freely. So when her boyfriend started staying at our house, I gisted my ordeal to another friend who was a friend to both me and my roommate. She didn’t live in Abuja, though. I told her how I was scared of how my roommate’s behaviour had changed and how I felt like her boyfriend may have used juju on her because she wasn’t acting like the same girl I knew I came to school with. I didn’t think much of the conversation afterwards. Until one day, when I was ill. My roommate picked up my phone and began to go through my chats. And she hopped on the chat where I mentioned her private issue to a friend. She went through the chat. And the next morning, I heard her whispering to her boyfriend in a scoffing voice, “Light said that you used juju on me.” Then they both laughed. That was when I realized I had messed up….. To be continued.

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