<p>I got home from work exhausted, the kind of tiredness that settles deep in your bones. As I dropped my bag, the first thing I did was check my account balance. I needed to figure out what meal I could afford to cook, something that would last me at least two or three days and still leave enough for transportation to work.</p><p><br/></p><p>My balance stared back at me: ₦1,625.57.</p><p><br/></p><p>I sighed and began calculating in my head. Maybe rice and tomato stew. Maybe garri. Somehow, I would survive.</p><p><br/></p><p>Then my phone beeped.</p><p><br/></p><p>It was a message from my dad.</p><p><br/></p><p>*"Ib, please don't be tired of feeding me. By God's grace, I will get back on my feet soon. I have malaria and I haven't been eating well. Boma sent me ₦1,000 yesterday, but there is no gas and no food."*</p><p><br/></p><p>I read the message once. Then again.</p><p><br/></p><p>My eyes filled with tears.</p><p><br/></p><p>I looked back at my account balance: ₦1,625.57. That was all I had in the world at that moment.</p><p><br/></p><p>Without thinking twice, I sent him ₦1,100.</p><p><br/></p><p>The moment the transfer was successful, I broke down. I cried until there were no more tears left. Then I told myself I would survive on the little garri I had left at home and stretch the rice and tomatoes I usually bought monthly.</p><p><br/></p><p>As I sat there drinking my garri, trying not to lose my mind under the weight of everything, questions flooded my heart.</p><p><br/></p><p>I'm only just starting my life.</p><p><br/></p><p>I am still trying to figure things out.</p><p><br/></p><p>Why are there already so many mouths depending on me? Why are people looking to me for provision when I'm still struggling to provide for myself?</p><p><br/></p><p>I looked up to God and whispered, "Where did it all go wrong? Am I missing something? Am I getting life all wrong?"</p><p><br/></p><p>Before I could gather myself, my phone beeped again.</p><p><br/></p><p>This time, it was my younger sister.</p><p><br/></p><p>*"Ib, please, I haven't eaten. I need money to buy food."*</p><p><br/></p><p>My heart sank.</p><p><br/></p><p>Where was I supposed to find another ₦2,000?</p><p><br/></p><p>The tears came again.</p><p><br/></p><p>I cried until I felt numb. Then, strangely, I felt a little lighter. I wiped my face, took a deep breath, and replied:</p><p><br/></p><p>*"I'll send it for you. Let me see what I can do."*</p><p><br/></p><p>I didn't know how. I didn't even know where the money would come from.</p><p><br/></p><p>But somehow, I couldn't tell her no.</p><p><br/></p><p>I decided to call a friend and ask for a loan of ₦5,000. If she agreed, I could send something better to my dad, help my sister, and hopefully keep enough for transport to work.</p><p><br/></p><p>That night, after my humble meal of garri, I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling.</p><p><br/></p><p>I said my prayers and closed my eyes, holding on to the smallest thread of hope.</p><p><br/></p><p>Maybe tomorrow would be better.</p><p><br/></p><p>Maybe God had not forgotten me.</p><p><br/></p><p>Maybe one day, all of this pain, sacrifice, and silent tears would make sense.</p><p><br/></p><p>And though I couldn't see it yet, I chose to believe that my season of smiling was coming soon. I’ll smile again.</p><p><br/></p>
Comments