Love Should Not Bruise: Part Three

My baby was gone….For a long time, I just lay there on the floor staring at nothing. My entire body hurt. Every breath felt painful, and my head was spinning so badly that I could barely tell where I was.The house was quiet.Too quiet.A few minutes earlier it had been filled with shouting, but now there was nothing.He was gone.After beating me, after ignoring my pleas, after seeing me curled on the floor trying to protect our child, he had simply walked out of the house.I tried to move but a sharp pain shot through my body. A cry escaped my lips before I could stop it. Tears rolled down my face as I placed a trembling hand over my stomach.Something felt wrong.Terribly wrong.Panic gripped me immediately."No," I whispered.I tried sitting up but couldn't.My arms gave way beneath me and I fell back to the floor.The realization that I was alone terrified me. If nobody found me, I didn't know what would happen. I thought about my baby. I thought about my mother. I thought about how far away everyone who loved me was.I couldn't stay there.Somehow, I forced myself onto my hands and knees.The journey from the sitting room to the front door wasn't far, but in that moment it felt impossible. My body felt weak and every movement hurt. Still, I kept going.I crawled.Slowly.Painfully.Each movement drained what little strength I had left.By the time I reached the doorway, I was shaking uncontrollably. Sweat covered my face and my vision was beginning to blur.I reached for the door handle.The first time I missed it.The second time my fingers barely touched it.The third time I managed to grab it.Using every bit of strength I had left, I pulled the door open.Sunlight flooded into the house.I tried to call for help, but my voice came out as nothing more than a weak whisper.Then everything started going dark.The last thing I remember before collapsing was hearing someone scream.It was my neighbor.She had been returning from the market when she saw me lying at the entrance of the house.She rushed toward me immediately."Oh my God!"Her voice sounded distant.She kept calling my name.She kept asking what had happened.I wanted to answer her.I wanted to tell her everything.But I couldn't.My body refused to cooperate.Within minutes, more neighbors gathered around.Someone brought water.Someone called for help.Someone suggested waiting for my husband.My neighbor refused."Waiting for what?" she snapped. "Can't you see she's dying?"She helped arrange transportation and rushed me to the hospital herself.I don't remember the journey.I don't remember being admitted.I don't remember the doctors asking questions.Everything between collapsing at my doorstep and waking up in the hospital is a blur.When I finally regained consciousness, the first thing I noticed was the smell of antiseptic.The second was the pain.The third was the look on the nurse's face when she realized I was awake."You need to stay calm," she said gently.The words immediately frightened me.People only said things like that when something was wrong.I looked around the room.The hospital bed.The IV attached to my arm.The machines.Then my eyes moved to my stomach.And suddenly I remembered everything.The appointment.Coming home.The argument.The beating.The fall.The darkness.My baby…..The tears started before anyone could stop them.The nurse tried comforting me, but nothing she said could reach me.The only thing I wanted in that moment was my mother.I reached for my phone with trembling hands.There were missed calls.Messages.But I ignored all of them.I searched for one number.Mama.When she answered, she sounded normal.Happy even.The way mothers do when they hear from their children."Hello, my daughter."The moment I heard her voice, I broke down.I couldn't speak.I couldn't explain.I couldn't form complete sentences.I just cried.For several seconds, all she could hear was my sobbing."Mama..." I finally managed to say.Her tone changed immediately."What happened?"I cried harder."Mama...""Talk to me. What happened?"My chest felt like it was being crushed."I lost the baby."The silence that followed was unbearable.Then I heard her gasp.For a moment neither of us spoke.I could hear her breathing on the other end of the phone.I could hear the fear in it.The confusion.The heartbreak.Then she asked the question I had been dreading."How?"I closed my eyes.Fresh tears rolled down my cheeks.And for the first time, I said the truth out loud."He beat me."The line went silent.And in that moment, the secret I had carried alone for so long finally stopped being mine alone.

Love Should Not Bruise

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