Life Of Salma Muhammad

<h4 style="text-align: center;">Page Five: The Wedding I Did Not Recover From</h4> Dear Diary, There are four stages of being an introvert. Stage one is normal, stage two is manageable, stage three is intense, and stage four is something else entirely. That is where I am.If you guys thought Page Four was bad, you’re not prepared for what comes next.A few days earlier, I had already gone for my cousin’s traditional wedding, and I still hadn’t recovered from it when my mum said we were also going for the reception. I didn’t even have time to breathe before another wedding was added to my life. I tried to refuse, but as usual, my opinion didn’t matter. My mum said we were going, and that was final.So I got ready.While I was getting dressed, I was actually admiring my body in the mirror, especially my nyash, because it was doing something I could not ignore. Body teaaaaaaaa😝😝😝💅🏾💅🏾. But at the same time, my belly was too big for the dress, so I had to wear a belly shaper just to make everything fit properly. I wasn’t even comfortable, but I had no choice.I skipped breakfast because I was already stressed and couldn’t eat. I even considered just wearing a face mask and not going properly because I genuinely didn’t want to be seen, but my mum didn’t allow it. So I let my sister do my makeup while I just sat there feeling like I was being forced into battle.So I went.From the moment we got there, it was constant instructions and movement. Do this, bring that, stand there. My mum was constantly talking, and even when she wasn’t shouting, it still felt like shouting. Everyone would go quiet when she spoke, and I would just stand there smiling like I was fine.My dad also did his part. He asked for water, I brought it, and he looked at me and said, “Is this what I asked for?” Then he said I don’t have sense. I just stood there questioning my entire existence.At some point, I started having stomach upset from the food I ate, and it got so bad that I was literally uncomfortable the whole time and even farting without control, which made everything worse because I had to act like nothing was happening.At some point, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I went outside to the car area just to breathe.That was when I saw someone who looked exactly like the guy from school—the one I threw up in front of.At first, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. I told myself it was stress and everything happening at once. There was no way he would be at this wedding reception too.Then my mum sent my younger sister to call me, so I went back inside.And that was when I saw him properly.It was him.The guy from school.The same guy I threw up in front of.I literally stopped breathing for a moment because I could not understand how my life kept bringing me back to him.Before I could even recover, my mum told me to go and distribute small chops to his table.I refused.I really did.But my mum didn’t even let me finish speaking. The shouting that followed made it very clear I had no choice. So I went.My hands were shaking the entire time I was walking to the table.When I got there, I saw him clearly again. He was sitting there, and beside him was another guy who looked exactly like him. At first I thought I was still confused, but I realized they are actually twins. They look so alike it was genuinely disorienting.But the real problem was still him—the guy from school, the one I threw up in front of. He was sitting there like nothing happened while I was standing there trying not to break down internally.As I dropped the small chops, he looked at me and said, “Have we met before?”And I immediately said no and left.Too fast. Too obvious. But I didn’t care.After that, I went back to my table and asked my sister who they were because I needed confirmation that I was not imagining my life.That was when she told me they are twins, and even worse, they are the groom’s brothers—my cousin’s husband’s brothers.So not only did I see the guy I embarrassed myself in front of at school, I also had to serve him food at a wedding reception where he is literally connected to my family.At that point, I just sat down because I honestly had nothing left in me.

Life Of Salma Muhammad

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