My lover…the one who sees me. - by Thequeen_Of

I’ve been seating with my thoughts lately, not the usual overthinking kind. Just seating and looking deeply into what comes into mind. One of those thoughts that really sat well deep inside of me is that there’s someone that sees me. After thinking and really acknowledging my life so far, I’ve come to realize that there’s a one who sees me beyond the scenes. The smiling face that now doubles as an act of looking put together even when I have no shelter. He sees behind the facade every other person miss. We all tend to wear mask to cover our emotions because everyone seems to be going through something or something is going through them. Whichever way you can’t afford to be a burden. It’s sad that Nike can’t afford to be vulnerable with her friend Abike because she’s sacred it will become the joke to while away time, even though, Abike, herself is going through worse but someone else’s misfortune seems like a balm to her wounded soul. She couldn’t open up because it melt weakness, being a bother to everyone else when they also have their own issues to solve. She couldn’t afford to make her business everyone’s business. So instead, she lived through her pain and shame with a wide grin on her face even though day by day there’s a sinking feeling at the pit of her heart of how her world is falling apart. But unfortunately, nobody sees it or maybe they did and pretended not to. Cause they have their own wounds to lick. I was once like Nike, I believed no one should be trusted or close enough to see you; the you behind closed doors, the you that doesn’t have everything figured out, the you that still struggles, the you that needs help but feels too sacred to ask because there was no safe space, even home failed in that assignment. Until, I found a friend closer than a brother, someone who isn’t terrified by my wounds, trust me, they are really huge hideous scars covered in fine linens. He didn’t run when I stripped naked before him.He didn’t shrink his nose at the stinging odor that comes from the sore of my rotten wounds that has become locusts abode.He didn’t look away from the gruesome sight of my horrible nature. And then, He did something I couldn’t believe, He opened his arm wide for an embrace and said, “Come, I’ve been waiting for so long”. Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I was awestruck! But I’m filthy, unwort… The rest died in my throat as He drew me into His warm embrace. I’ve never felt so safe in my entire life as I felt in His arms. He enveloped me with so much love, I was overwhelmed. Who could love a wretch like me? He see everything and still stayed, still chose me, still love me. In Him alone is my hiding place! The One who sees me, El Roi, my lover and friend.

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