The First Breath - by Zibah Black

It was just like every other day. I was in school, laughing and joking around with my friends when my phone rang. It wasn't unusual that she was calling.The timing was.She knew my schedule. She knew I would be in class at that time. If she was calling despite that... Something was wrong. A wave of panic rose in me before I forced it back down. "Relax," I told myself. "You're overthinking it." "I'll be back," I said to one of my friends. "I need to take this. I'll wait outside. Let me know when the lecturer comes." I stepped out and answered. "Hello?""Div...""Hello, Aunt. What's going on?""I... I... Aren't you in class? I'm so sorry for calling at this time, but... it's urgent. You needed to know.""It's okay. The lecturer isn't here yet.""What happened?" I asked softly, silently hoping it wasn't anything too serious. "It's... it's..." Her voice broke. "I... I don't know how to say it...""Aunt.""Take a deep breath. Calm down; Tell me what happened." There was silence. Then she said it. "Bambi is dead." For a moment...Nothing happened. No scream.No panic.Just silence. It felt like something inside me cracked. Quietly.Like glass under pressure.My grip around the phone loosened.The world didn't stop.It simply became... distant. I could still hear people talking behind me.Someone laughed.A motorcycle sped past.A bird landed on the fence a few metres away.Life continued with an indifference that almost offended me. I tried to think.But every thought collapsed before it became complete. Dead. The word refused to make sense.Not when I had spoken to her yesterday.Not when we had spent almost an hour planning her birthday.Not when I could still hear her laugh in my head. Yesterday we were both making plans. But Today...She no longer existed.It was strange.I wasn't crying. I just stood there, staring at nothing, waiting for my mind to reject what it had just heard. It never did. "What...How...Why...What the fvck happened?" The words escaped before I could stop them.I've always had a habit of cursing whenever I was angry. "It's..." she sobbed."I feel so ashamed... and so pained.She was raped..." Another pause. "...to death by her boyfriend." Something changed. The numbness disappeared. In its place...Heat.Raw.Violent Heat. "What the fvcking hell?I warned her about that asshole.I should've pushed harder. I should've made sure they broke up.I hope that bastard is in prison." "No..." "They came today..." "They?" "They asked me to sign an agreement." I frowned. "What do you mean, they?What agreement?Please don't tell me it's what I think it is." "Div...I only just found out.The boyfriend... he's from a wealthy family.Their lawyers came today.They want us to settle.They said a lot of gibberish I didn't quite get and said they'll pay..." "No." I didn't let her finish. "No way.We're dragging this as far as it goes.I don't care how long it takes.I'll make sure that bastard pays.I won't sit back and watch this happen." Not under my watch. The call ended. I remained where I was.Students walked past me.Some laughed.Some complained about assignments.Some hurried to class. Nobody noticed that my world had quietly shifted. I looked down at my hands.They were shaking.Not from fear.But from something else.Something heavier.Something......darker. I had always believed I knew who I was.I believed there were lines I would never cross.Thoughts I would never entertain.But standing there... I met a version of myself I had never seen before. It wasn't grief.Grief mourns.Grief cries. This... Wanted something.It wanted him to suffer.Not because it would bring Bambi back.Not because it would heal anyone. Simply because the thought of him breathing while she couldn't felt... wrong. The feeling didn't shout.It didn't rage.It sat quietly inside me. And in that moment... "I realized how much I wanted to hurt someone."

Other insights from Zibah Black

Referral Earning

Points-to-Coupons