TWO SIDES OF FAILURE

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a piece about failure from the perspectives of the one who has failed (the student *S*), and the one who failed her (the lecturer *L*). In order to experience this piece to its fullest, please read from both individual perspectives first, then reflect on them collectively. *S:* He failed me again.*L:* She failed again.*S:* This is not his first time.*L:* This is not her first time.*S:* I wonder what I did wrong this time.*L:* I’m sure she still does not understand what she keeps doing wrong.*S:* He would not listen even if I asked anyway.*L:* But she never even bothers to ask. *S:* I was busy.*L:* I knew she was busy.*S:* But he still gave me numerous assignments that prevented me from studying.*L:* That was exactly why I gave her those assignments. I thought they would help her stay familiar with the course.*S:* I even tried reading at night.*L:* She was always sleeping in class.*S:* As if the assignments were not enough, he gave us a topic to present.*L:* The assignments may not have been enough, so I gave them a topic to present.*S:* I froze during the presentation.*L:* She stopped talking halfway through the presentation.*S:* Everyone was staring at me.*L:* Everyone was waiting for her to continue.*S:* He embarrassed me in front of the whole class.*L:* I thought correcting her publicly would help her improve.*S:* I left before he could say anything else.*L:* She left before I could explain.*S:* That is how these lecturers usually are.*L:* I know there are lecturers like that.*S:* They make students' lives hard for no reason.*L:* They make students' lives hard for no reason.*S:* And he is just like them.*L:* But I am not one of them. *S:* I know I am not lazy.*L:* I believe she is capable.*S:* But he keeps failing me.*L:* But she keeps giving up.*S:* He is always hard on me for no reason.*L:* I am always hard on her because I believe she has so much potential.*S:* I wonder why he is so focused on me.*L:* She just reminds me of my younger self.*S:* I really tried this time.*L:* She crammed harder this time.*S:* I tried my best.*L:* It just wasn't enough.*S:* But, maybe I was never good enough for his class.*L:* Maybe I expected too much too quickly. *S:* I know I should have tried harder.*L:* I know I should have been more lenient.*S:* But I was scared of him.*L:* But I was scared for her.*S:* I thought he hated me.*L:* I was just trying to help her. *S:* I failed him again.*L:* I failed her again.

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