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WHAT I COULDN'T SEE IN THE MOMENT from the unspoken versions of me series
<p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">What I couldn’t see in the moment</span></p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">was how the silence shaped me,</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">how every swallowed word</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">became a bruise I wore politely</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">like it was some kind of duty.</span></p></span><p style="text-align: left;"><br/></p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">What I couldn’t see back then</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">was that I mistook survival for peace,</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">thinking calm and numb were twins,</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">thinking quiet meant healed</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">when really it meant disappearing.</span></p></span><p style="text-align: left;"><br/></p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">What I couldn’t see in the moment</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">was the way my own reflection dimmed,</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">how I kept scooting over</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">to make space for everyone’s storms</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">while mine drowned me in the corner.</span></p></span><p style="text-align: left;"><br/></p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">What I couldn’t see back then</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">was how small I’d taught myself to be,</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">folding and folding</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">until my feelings were origami</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">no one even knew to unfold.</span></p></span><p style="text-align: left;"><br/></p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">What I couldn’t see in the moment</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">was the truth I kept outrunning:</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">I deserved softness too,</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">not just the splinters I grew used to,</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">not just the weight I thought was normal.</span></p></span><p style="text-align: left;"><br/></p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">What I couldn’t see back then</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">is exactly what I see now,</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">clear as breath on a cold morning:</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">I was never hard to love.</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">I was just too used to being overlooked</span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">to notice I was shining.</span></p></span><p style="text-align: left;"><br/></p><p style="text-align: left;"><br/></p><p style="text-align: left;"><br/></p><p style="text-align: left;"><br/></p><p style="text-align: left;"><br/></p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">From: The '<strong><em>Unspoken Versions Of Me'</em></strong> series </span></p></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">Pt 3</span></p></span></p>
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